DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and quite a good student. My grades are excellent. I'm shy, but five different guys have asked me out on a date this school year alone. I always said in each case, "Thanks for asking, but I'm not dating at this time."

The truth is that I would really like to say yes once in a while, but I think I lack the self-confidence to actually go out with a boy. I don't know what to say on a date or how to act. Do you have any suggestions? I feel trapped. I'm hesitant because I haven't been dating, but if I don't go on any dates, I'll never get any experience. It's a vicious circle that I'm stuck in — help! — Inexperienced Girl, via email

INEXPERIENCED GIRL: First of all, you do have self-confidence, as your excellent academic record indicates. You couldn't have achieved your academic accomplishments without the confidence that you could and would succeed with your schoolwork.

Try to move forward toward your social life goals in small steps. If you take pride in achieving each step, your confidence is bound to grow and develop at a healthy level. Seek out a few of your fellow high academic achievers, and open up a discussion about how they balance the time to complete their studies and still have a little free time to be social and date occasionally. Once you discuss this with some other students who share your same situation, you'll feel more confident in asking one of them to provide you a few dating tips — and maybe you can ask for an opportunity to double date! This would provide you dating experience without first having to go out on your own.

MY CURFEW IS TOO EARLY!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 16 1/2, and I live with my mom. She's a really great mom, and she loves me, but at the same time, she is very, very strict. My mom has never been married. She had me when she was 17. Her parents wanted her to get an abortion back then, but she refused, and here I am!

Times have occasionally been tough for mom and me financially, but we always manage to survive together and have each other's backs.

I'm allowed to date, but I must be home by 9 p.m. without fail, or I get put on restriction and can't date for a month! I think this is an unreasonable time. When I date, I have to eat dinner at home first, so when I get out of the house, it is already past 6:30 p.m., so we only have a little time to hang out before I have to get back home. Can you tell me what is an appropriate time for curfew? — Need More Time, via email

NEED MORE TIME: Consider yourself fortunate. I receive many letters from girls who can't date until they are 17 or even 18 years old. In time, I believe your mom will extend your curfew a bit, so please remain patient.

They key for you is keep your mother's trust and stick with her rules so that you can be on firm footing to ask for a later curfew as you get older.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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