DR. WALLACE: My parents were divorced several years ago. They thought it was best that I live with my father. I love my father very, very much. He is a super dad. I really don't know where my mother is and haven't heard from her in over a year.
About 10 months ago, my father started dating a lady who works with him. It turned serious... so serious that I now have a stepmother. She is a nice lady and I like her and I like her two little children. They are ages two and four. They are both well-behaved children.
My problem is that whenever my dad and stepmother want to go out on weekends, I'm stuck as their babysitter. I'm not asked if I could watch the children, I'm told. This means that I can't go out with my friends or my boyfriend on nights my stepmother and my dad decide they're going to go out together. And this is no big deal, but I'm also not paid for babysitting these children.
I think a babysitter should be called in on the nights I have something planned. There are many good sitters in her neighborhood, but my stepmother says she's "not comfortable leaving the children with a stranger."
I am not a happy 16-year-old camper! May I have your opinion please? — "Stepsister sitter", via email
STEPSISTER: I'm on your side. You have a right to your life and shouldn't be treated as live-in help. Your stepmother should interview at least three possible babysitters and select one to care for her children when she and your father are out together. The person selected should provide references and be certified in child safety by the American Red Cross. You should only have to care for the children when you don't have plans for that evening. But for the times a sitter is needed when you don't have specific plans, step up and volunteer to be the "sitter." And when you do care for the children, you should be paid the going rate for excellent local babysitters. You might even buy your stepsiblings a little gift each out of your earnings! This could go a long way toward family harmony. But don't forget to ask your father to help you open a savings account so that you can learn to manage your new income responsibly.
CLOSE FRIENDS AFTER A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP?
DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I dated for about four months, but I ended the relationship because I didn't love him and I knew I never would. He was disappointed when he received the news, but he said he understood how I felt. He knew fully that we would never date again, but he said that it would be important to him to remain close friends with me. I told him it would be better for both of us if we didn't see each other again. He then asked me to think about it for a week or so before making my final decision.
I'm still not going to change my mind; I would like your thoughts about a couple remaining close friends after ending a relationship. — Nameless, via email
NAMELESS: When a couple breaks up, both parties are better off going their separate ways. There are emotional wounds that need time to heal. A friendship might be possible down the road, but probably not until both of you have each established successful new romantic relationships with other people.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
View Comments