Is My Dad or My Mom Right About Using Her Old Nickname?

By Dr. Robert Wallace

April 29, 2026 5 min read

DR. WALLACE: Apparently, my mother had a nickname when she was much younger that she doesn't like to be called anymore. The other day, my father used the nickname and she immediately scolded him and told him not to call her that name anymore.

It's a rather odd nickname! My father called her "squawky" because she was voicing her opinion about a certain matter quite strongly in a group discussion with other adults visiting our family's backyard barbecue. My dad literally said, "Easy there squawky!" and my mom reacted immediately, telling him to never use that word again!

My parents actually got in a bit of a tiff about this that carried on into the late afternoon and early evening, even after the guests had left. I could hear my parents discussing it alone that night, and my father felt it was no big deal and my mother didn't like the nickname because she thought it was disparaging, to use her word. My father countered with a comment that it was ridiculous to worry about being called a nickname that was widely used to describe her during her college days.

Their discussion left me unsure as to who was right regarding this issue. What do you think? — My Mother Didn't Like It, via email

MY MOTHER DIDN'T LIKE IT: I side completely with your mother on this one here. I highly doubt this is the first time in the last 20 years or so that your father has used this nickname in your mother's presence, and he likely knew she wasn't all that thrilled to hear it again these days.

Many people, myself included, were given nicknames by other friends and students during our college days. Some nicknames we liked, others we tolerated and some we truly disliked. But once the college days or even high school days are gone and life evolves into new dynamics, calling someone by a nickname from years ago, that can be construed as upsetting, is not a wise thing to do. Your father would do well to eliminate that word from his future vocabulary.

IS MY SISTER EMOTIONALLY CHALLENGED OR DAMAGED?

DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who is 16 years old and in high school, and I have a younger sister who has a pretty unique personality. She's eight years old, and she reacts in very unusual ways to things that most people don't react to.

For example, the other night our family was watching a nature program regarding various animals in different lands and how they lived and survived, and how the food chain operated in their area. Some of the program showed some animals eating other animals. When this happened, my sister literally started crying out loud. Not deep sobbing, but tears were running down her face and she was trying not to make noise, but she couldn't help gasping and choking on her tears out loud.

Our mom went over to her and took her by the hand and brought her into the kitchen. They were gone for the rest of the program. My mom didn't say anything to me about it at all later, and when I asked her what had happened, she basically said it was going to be all right.

Do you think there is something wrong with my little sister emotionally? Do I need to be careful what I say and do around my little sister because she might have an emotional problem? — My Sister Cries a Lot, via email

MY SISTER CRIES A LOT: Your sister is still at a very young age, and her mind, emotions and understandings of the world are still undergoing important development on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Just because she was emotionally impacted seeing an animal being consumed by other animals does not mean she has an ongoing emotional problem.

You should act normally around her, but certainly don't bring up any topics that involve anything extremely dark, scary or involving death, torture of animals or any similar subjects like that. But that aside, act normally around her, treat her normally and don't bring up the situation regarding the nature show. Let your mother handle that and you just concentrate on carrying on being a good big brother, and one that is understanding and nonjudgmental.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Bohdan at Unsplash

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