Our Father Is Taking a Great Risk

By Dr. Robert Wallace

April 29, 2024 5 min read

DR. WALLACE: There are four siblings in our family; two of us are in the upper grades in high school, and two are college students.

We have excellent parents, and since they didn't marry until they were both past 29 years old, we have older parents than many of our friends do. This is fine, and even a benefit in some ways, such as being accurately briefed on past history.

But our older father makes us really worried. He insists on driving an old and rickety motorized scooter around our town, even in heavy traffic! This old bike is half as fast as the old mopeds were.

He also will not wear modern headgear! He has a really, really old circular helmet with a single chinstrap that looks like an old, weak football helmet from the 1950s! Every single time I see him ride down our driveway and out onto the public streets on a Saturday morning, I hold my breath.

We've discussed this among ourselves and with our mother on numerous occasions, and we've tried talking to him individually and collectively about just how this situation is. Still, he insists on riding off like that several times each month. Sometimes he's gone for four hours or longer.

Do you have any suggestions on how we can get our graybeard dad to stop riding this old scooter before he gets hurt? — His Concerned Family, via email

HIS CONCERNED FAMILY: Sit down as a group and think about any time when he warned one of you children not to do something dangerous. It may or may not have involved a vehicle or playing something like football or hockey in the street, but you get the idea.

The more of these real instances that you can all recall, the better. Then sit down with him at a time he's relaxed and in a decent mood and bring up these old stories. At first, just have one person tell a story. Then have another sibling tell another one, and so forth. Keep going around the room and telling as many "be safe" or "be careful" stories as you can. Be sure not to reach too far, like an instance of being told not to walk across the kitchen with scissors in hand. Strive to recall more serious warnings that you've received.

At the conclusion of your collective stories, mention that you've never had to warn dad about anything until now. Calmly tell him that he warned each of you back then because he loved you and wanted to keep you safe. Next, tell him together that you all love him and want to warn him in a similar way out of your deep affection for him. This just might provide the breakthrough you're looking for.

THE "ADULT CHAPERONE" IS ONLY 21!

DR. WALLACE: I was invited by some friends to a pool party in two weeks that is expected to start at noon and run into the evening. I'm 17 and am a responsible person.

When I found out that this party would be held when the parents of the host are out of town, I flinched because I knew I'd have to explain this to my parents. I found out that the 21-year-old brother of the guy hosting this party is designated as the "adult supervision"! There are about 30 people expected to attend, and I'd like to go, but now I'm really worried that this event could get out of hand.

I don't know the host too well, and I have never met or even seen a picture of his older brother. Is it even worth my time to explain this to my parents? They might just tell me that I can't go once they know the full story. I do have a few really good friends attending, so I'd like to hang out with them if I can. — Interested but Concerned, via email

INTERESTED BUT CONCERNED: You should be fully honest with your parents.

If you make a pitch to your parents for permission to attend the party, why not just ask for permission to attend from noon until 4 or 5 p.m.?

By leaving during daylight, you'll greatly reduce your odds of being caught up in or witnessing any behavior by other attendees that you know your parents would not approve of.

If you go under these terms, plan to stick close to your friends and have your transportation all set up at an exact time to maximize your enjoyment of the social opportunity while minimizing the chance of being present if the event eventually spirals in a less than optimal direction.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Harley-Davidson at Unsplash

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