DR. WALLACE: Our family is planning our summer vacation, and for the first time, my parents are letting the three of us siblings decide where to go.

Of course, there are limits to where we can go and what we can do: It has to be within the continental U.S. and last no more than eight days.

I'm the youngest at 14 years old, and my two older siblings are 17 and 18. The two of them are discussing and debating where to go and what to do, and they don't even ask my opinion or let me make any suggestions. They've just gone off on their own to come up with a plan. They can outvote me two to one on everything, so they are just leaving me out and ignoring me. What can I do about this? — Left Out of the Discussion, via email

LEFT OUT OF THE DISCUSSION: I highly doubt their present actions match the intentions your parents had when they delegated the vacation planning to the three of you.

Let your parents know what is going on, and ask them to step in on your behalf. Request that the bigger vacation plans such as location must be unanimous, similar to the way a jury must be unanimous when returning a verdict in a court of law.

Then for the smaller issues, such as the daily activities, request that those also must be unanimous. However, if there is a 2-1 split on any smaller issues, your parents should be allowed one vote each. This would mean that if the three of you teens could agree on the daily activities, you could control the daily agenda! But if not, then it would be possible for both parents to side with the teen who trailed 2-1 and create a 3-2 majority that would reverse the leverage and change any given day's activities.

Such a system would quickly cause your elder siblings to not only include you in all of the discussions, but to take your suggestions and desires very seriously. You'd all also benefit from the lessons in compromising and negotiating. For example, you could each agree to control two days of the agenda out of a six, seven or even eight-day trip.

HE'S GRACIOUS TO GO OUTSIDE, BUT HE'S EXPOSED TO THE WEATHER

DR. WALLACE: Our older uncle lives with us, and he's a heavy smoker! His wife passed away about four months ago, and my parents have allowed him to live at our house now, since his health is not that good overall and he's much older than my mom (his sister).

The good news is that he's courteous and gracious about his smoking and he never, ever smokes in our house or right outside a door. But sometimes when it's really cold or rainy in the winter and early spring, I see him shivering and his teeth chattering. And I also know that since we are in late April, it won't be long before it gets really hot. Since he's a big guy, he's going to be really hot and sweaty in the sun.

We all like him a lot because he's a very nice guy and he treats all of his nieces and nephews really well. We live on the edge of our town in a bit of a rural area that has some neighbors not too far away from us, but we also have a big yard with a lot of open space that he can walk around to smoke in. I just don't like seeing him as uncomfortable as he's been this winter and as I know he's going to be when the heat of summer hits.

He used to smoke in his own home since he and his wife smoked together for many years. — One of His Favorite Nephews, via email

ONE OF HIS FAVORITE NEPHEWS: Perhaps ask your parents if they can get him one of those small storage sheds that can be set up in your backyard. If that's possible, he'd have shelter and could stay warmer in winter and cooler in summer whenever he needs a smoke break, which sounds like it would be often.

You could get him some small, battery-operated fans for the summer and a nice chair to sit in. In the winter, he could wear some layered clothing to stay a bit warmer as the enclosed space would at least keep rain, snow and the wind off of him. Being in an enclosed space would also allow his body heat to collect and create a much warmer environment to relax in than simply standing in the elements with his teeth chattering.

If your folks and your uncle together can't raise the funds to get him this type of a shed, perhaps you, your siblings and maybe even some friends could try to come up with some ideas for fundraisers to help accommodate the purchase of a shed to help out your beloved uncle.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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