Our Tuesday series today features the warning signs of abusive relationships. Spring break is usually a time for fun in the sun, but too often there is more going on beneath the surface in some relationships.

Dating violence goes well beyond the occasional argument or simply being in a bad mood from time to time. Dating violence is a pattern of behavior that is unfortunately used against girlfriends and even boyfriends by those inside a relationship. These patterns encompass both emotional and verbal abuse, and come in the form of name-calling, isolation from friends and family, constant insults and even controlling what the relationship partner wears out in public.

Some deeper cases involve sexual abuse, and this can occur across all age groups, races, religions and sexual orientations. The person being abused often loses hope and is afraid to speak out to others about their plight.

Therefore, it's important for all members of society to be aware of and keep a lookout for potential cases of dating violence. We would react quickly at the sight of black eyes, broken bones and great physical harm, but most abusers function in ways that are much more subtle to the naked eye, and their methods can be just as devastating as those involving physical harm.

As we go through the spring and enter summer, more people than ever will be out and about, traveling to popular vacation spots and enjoying outdoor dining and various leisure and recreational events. Keep an eye out for anything that appears to be out of sorts and do not hesitate to step in if you do encounter confirmed abuse. The great preponderance of dating abuse occurs in male/female relationships with the woman or girl being abused, although there certainly are exceptions.

The most likely persons to notice the potential abuse are existing friends of the female in question. Special attention should be paid to noticeable changes that do not appear at a glance to be for the better.

Here are key warning signs of an abusive relationship:

—You notice a guy lose his temper in public and perhaps even break items in his rage.

—A female friend's weight, appearance or grades in school change dramatically. This could be due to the onset of depression, driven by underlying abuse.

—Pay attention to a female who apologizes for her guy's behavior and regularly makes excuses for him and his actions.

—Look out for isolation. A woman who begins giving up activities that once were important to her, like socializing with friends and participating in group outings, may be suffering from dating violence.

—Be especially vigilant when the couple is present in person in front of you. Do not ignore any needling or name-calling the male may be directing towards the female. If he's willing to do this in public, can you imagine what he says to her in private?

—Watch out for guys who constantly check up on a girlfriend. Multiple phone calls and texts to ask her where she is, who she's with and what she's doing are a huge red flag that often indicates abuse.

—Always ask about any unexplained injuries, no matter how small and apparently inconsequential they might be as they could be the tip of a much larger iceberg of abuse. Listen to her explanation and evaluate carefully whether it makes sense.

—Pay attention to any male who cuts off a female the moment she talks to another male, even in a very innocent, normal social setting.

—Another big red flag is having a female friend cancel plans at the very last minute. This is usually accompanied by a very weak, often incredulous excuse.

If you notice any of these warning signs, take action by contacting your friend and/or their family as appropriate. Often an abuser reigns over the abused until someone puts the abuse to an end. Contact authorities as needed as well. In this area of life and in so many others, if you see something, say something. Imagine you were the person feeling trapped in an abusive relationship. You would likely need help to get out of it, so take each warning sign seriously and analyze each possible case carefully but be bold and become a catalyst for change when you know for sure something is terribly wrong.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: artbykleiton at Pixabay