DR. WALLACE: I'm 22 years old and my boyfriend just broke up with me. We had been together for close to three full years and now I find myself absolutely heartbroken. I didn't see the breakup coming at all and feel like he just decided to abandon me one day. I'm devastated. I can't eat; I can't sleep; and I can't focus very well on my work. I'm falling behind in all of my classes, which is only contributing further to my feelings of depression over this matter.

People keep telling me that this hard time in my life will pass, but I don't buy it right now. My boyfriend meant everything to me, and I can't even begin to comprehend how I will get through the rest of this week, let alone the rest of my life.

I don't want to live life without him, so what do I do now? I feel as though I'm helpless and have no options. — Blindsided, via email

BLINDSIDED: My condolences to you on the abrupt ending of your relationship. Indeed, these types of things are quite hard and stressful.

Keeping busy and keeping your mind on other things can help you through a time like this. Reach out to every friend you have, no matter how close or distant each friend is or has been with you.

Try to find time to socialize with your friends. Talk a little about your relationship to get it off of your chest but try not to dwell on it to the point of letting it dominate the conversation and planned activities entirely. I realize this is easier said than done, but it's important to your state of mind to grieve a bit but to press forward and move on into your new future, a future that has already begun.

I know that you miss your ex-boyfriend right now, but deep down you must know that someone who walked out on you unceremoniously without notice was not likely the right person for you in terms of the rest of your life. The saying that one door closes and another one opens absolutely applies now to you and your situation. You won't know for a while which door will be important to your future, so be sure to be available to new opportunities to meet new people.

Allow yourself to see a future in your mind's eye in which you are far happier than you have ever been before. This is possible and will likely come to pass in time. For now, keep moving, keep socializing and fight the urge to feel helpless. You have tremendous personal power, and there will be many good options for your future. Each day starting now, you're one day closer to better times and more happiness. Do your best to look forward and not into the rear-view mirror of your life. Evaluate what you did and did not like about your past relationship and vow to learn from it. The experience you've gained is invaluable and you'll be able to apply it to your advantage going forward.

AN ADULT DESERVES ONE BEER AFTER WORK

DR. WALLACE: I just turned 18 and I can now be an adult who can vote, enlist in the military and be considered an adult in the eyes of the law on many issues. But why is it that I can't have one cold beer after a hard day working in the hot factory I currently work at? We work hard at our job, and I come home from my shifts really tired, hot and sweaty. I'd sure like to legally down one ice-cold beer as a reward for my hard day's work.

I'm not saying that I should be allowed to drink hard alcohol like whiskey or shots at age 18. That can wait until I'm 21 — and the same goes for wine in my estimation. But I think it's ridiculous that I can't quaff one cold beer after work. After all, I'm an adult! Don't you agree? — Just want a cold one, via email

JUST WANT A COLD ONE: No, I do not agree. Unfortunately, beer contains alcohol just like wine and hard liquor do, and all are considered potentially addictive substances in the eyes of the law. Therefore, it's been determined that the age of 21 is the lowest minimum age to legally consume these substances.

The potential for alcohol addiction is the very same no matter which substance (beer, wine, hard alcohol) is involved. One beer can lead to many beers, therein lies the danger. It's as simple as that. I'll spare you the details of the thousands of letters I've received over the years outlining the devastating effects family members and loved ones suffered from due to alcohol consumption.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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