DR. WALLACE: I'm the youngest child of three boys in our house. Yesterday, we were fighting, and my mom gave us some slack at first. I guess she finally had enough, because eventually she scolded us all in a raised voice. The first thing she wanted to know was who started the fight.

I didn't want to answer my mom because I wasn't sure who threw the first punch, and this is not unusual with me and my brothers. One of us pushes or shoves another, or somebody doesn't change the television channel fast enough, or whatever, and all of the sudden, a group fight is on!

I always feel a natural reaction to protect myself, but I'll admit that I am also trying to fight back. I don't want to get in trouble, but I also don't want to be hit. Does it matter who started the fight? — Youngest of Three Fighting Teen Brothers, via email

YOUNGEST OF THREE: It really doesn't matter who started the fight, since it appears that you all three participate on a regular basis. Typically, the oldest child teases the younger ones and goads them into a physical altercation that will favor the eldest and strongest. Since you're younger and likely smaller, I don't blame you for not liking these fights.

Siblings always compete with one another for parents' attention or approval and for bragging rights within a family. Of course you should defend yourself if and when you need to, but I suggest that in the future, you use your mind more and your fists less. When you see (or can sense) that a fight is about to commence, make yourself scarce and let your two older brothers deal with each other one on one. Don't stick around to see who "wins" or to become the referee. Just walk on and stay out of range. You've already proven that you can fight back; now prove to yourself that you're smart enough to avoid petty fights.

I WANT A FAIR SHAKE!

DR. WALLACE: I just don't understand why my brother gets favored treatment in our house. My brother and I go to the same high school, and we're both good students, but my parents always seem to expect less of him than they expect of me.

Since I'm a girl, I'm expected to help with cooking, setting up the dinner table and washing the dishes after our meals. I have to do this every night. My brother, on the other hand, just works in our yard once a week! Yes, he mows the large lawn we have and it takes a few hours, but he literally gets six days off a week!

What bothers me is that I have all these extra responsibilities even though I clean my room and do my homework without being asked. I just don't understand why my brother doesn't have to do inside chores because he plays football and has practice after school most days, but I have to do so much.

I do other chores on the weekend as well, so how can I get my parents to understand that this isn't fair and that my brother should be doing chores on weekdays, too? I feel like going on strike until things are fair! — Sister Who Wants to Strike, via email

SISTER WHO WANTS TO STRIKE: My sense is that most siblings are treated pretty equally by their family, but when there is a difference in treatment, it is far more likely for athletes of either gender to get a better deal since they spend so much time at sports practice.

Show your letter and my reply here to your parents and maybe they will consider having your brother at least wash some of the dishes a few nights a week to help you out. The cooking and preparation of meal and table might occur before he returns home from practice, but washing a few dishes after he eats your fine cooking seems absolutely fair to me.

Let your parents know that I side with you on this issue and suggest that he wash dishes at least two or three nights a week to balance things out between the two of you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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