DR. WALLACE: I'm a regular reader of your column and I usually agree with your advice. However, I was surprised at your outdated response to the girl who just started going steady. She was shocked at her mother's suggestion that she should start using birth control — just in case she and her boyfriend got carried away. You stated that the mother was wrong. How dare you say that! The mother was right.
Teen pregnancy today is a national disgrace, and it is predicted that 20 million Americans will carry the AIDS virus. How can you say that a mother was wrong to suggest that her daughter get on the pill and always carry a condom with her whenever she is with her boyfriend?
Wake up, Dr. Wallace. This is 2016, not 1916, and times have changed! I think that every boy and girl starting to date should receive a box of condoms from their parents, with instructions on how to use them effectively to prevent unwanted pregnancy, AIDS, and other sexually transmitted diseases. This would put a huge dent in the enormous number of problems connected with teen sex. — Grandfather, Chicago, Ill.
GRANDFATHER: If teenage premarital sex was not a moral issue, then I would agree with you 100 percent. But I happen to believe that it is a moral matter.
I also believe that sexually active teens must take preventive measures to reduce the risk of pregnancy and contracting sexually transmitted diseases. They don't have a choice. Teens who fail to use protection leave themselves vulnerable to a myriad of dangers.
Having said that, however, I must add that premarital sex is never the right choice for a teen to make, and parents who send their children a message that it's OK are making a terrible mistake. No one has more influence with their children than their parents. When they fail to advocate sexual abstinence, they're falling down in their responsibility to teach right from wrong.
They have the responsibility to teach their children that sex is a wonderful expression of love, but only after marriage. Why? For the same reasons you use when you advocate the use of condoms — to prevent unwanted pregnancies and diseases.
But there are many other reasons for teens not to have premarital sex. Too often, sexually active teens suffer psychological and emotional trauma: guilt, depression and low self-esteem. I receive hundreds of letters monthly to prove it. I don't believe in the philosophy: "If it feels good, do it!" Many teens have suffered consequences that prove this to be a huge mistake!
If all parents would lovingly and wisely teach their children everything they need to know about human sexuality — from conception to sexually transmitted diseases — and encourage them not to become sexually active before marriage, we wouldn't need to distribute condoms at schools.
It's important for sexually active teens to be aware that a condom could prevent a pregnancy or an infectious disease, but it's more important that they develop the moral fiber not to go that route at all.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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