DR. WALLACE: My best friend's family has invited me to be their guest for a summer vacation. The plan is for us to stay at my friend's grandparents' home near Dublin, Ireland, and tour the country from this home base. I am thrilled with the invitation and my best friend really wants me to go. My parents are encouraging me to take advantage of this generous offer, as it will be a wonderful learning experience.

The only problem is that my boyfriend doesn't want me to go, and even said that if I went he would break up with me. I really like him and I don't want to lose him, but I also want to go to Ireland with my best friend and her family. I honestly can't make up my mind. I'm going to be a senior in high school in September. Please give me your advice. — Molly, Boston, Mass.

MOLLY: Your boyfriend is acting like a selfish jerk. He should be thrilled that you've been given the opportunity to have this marvelous cultural adventure. Instead, he's thinking about the temporary loss of your company. He has, in fact, chosen to feel sorry for himself, instead of being happy for you to be able to make this trip to Ireland.

Tell him that you care for him, but that you are definitely going to Ireland this summer, with or without his blessing. Give him his freedom to do what he pleases this summer, including dating other girls. When you return from Ireland, the two of you can decide if you have a future together. If he doesn't agree to this perfectly reasonable arrangement, then he's the loser.

But by all means, go to Ireland and have a great experience!

YOUR ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE YOUR REAL PARENTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and live with my adoptive parents, who happen to be very strict. I don't get to do all the things my friends do and I'm put on restriction if a teacher complains about my class conduct.

I'm very sorry that I was adopted and I sometimes dream that my real mother would come and take me with her. I didn't ask to come into this world, but you would think that at least I would be with my real mother. — Nameless, Chicago, Ill.

NAMELESS: Sorry, but I would advise you not to get your hopes up that your biological mother will come along someday and "rescue" you. I'm sure your adoptive parents love you deeply and want the best for you. Many parents are strict; this has nothing to do with being adopted.

Your adoptive parents ARE your real parents. All disagreements, problems and complaints should be worked out with them through discussion, compromise, and love.

Maybe someday you'll have a chance to meet your biological mom, but she will never take on the role of parent. When you realize this, you'll be better able to appreciate the loving couple who did take on that role, and gave you a secure life.

THIS DOESN'T QUALIFY AS A DATE

DR. WALLACE: I'm a very mature 13-year-old girl who is active in my youth group at church and I make good grades in school. Last week, a boy I like called and asked me to go to the movies with him and his parents. My parents said no because I was too young to be going out on a date.

I don't think this qualifies as a date. Do you? — Nameless, Peoria, Ill.

NAMELESS: No, joining another family to see a movie doesn't seem like a date, but apparently Mom and Dad thought it did. Something about the situation made them uneasy. Next time, ask the boy to have one of his parents contact your parents and ask permission to take you to a movie with their family. If a parent does the asking, your parents may be put at ease and say yes.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: William Warby