DR. WALLACE: I am a very busy 18-year-old, as I have not only school, but a lot of activities that soak up the hours of my day faster than I can plan for them. One of the challenges I'm facing recently is that a close friend of mine, who has access to a vehicle, will often offer to pick me up for various social outings.

We schedule these in advance and I always agree upon the time that I feel I can be ready, having completed homework and other tasks I need to take care of before I can relax and hang out.

But this friend has a habit of showing up 30 to 40 minutes early and then badgering me to hurry up so that we can get going! I gently remind my friend of the early arrival and say that I need to finish a few things up before I can leave, but the constant impatience and whining deplete my ability to finish the tasks that are in front of me. Many times I have just stopped and left things undone in frustration and hop in the car to quiet all the chirping.

What should I do about this? This is a good friend, but interrupting my personal time and badgering me has gotten beyond frustrating and even a bit under my skin. — My Ride is Always Early, via email

MY RIDE IS ALWAYS EARLY: It sounds to me that your friend puts his or her agenda at a level of much more importance than showing any respect for you. To arrive well ahead of a planned time and harass you to hurry up and get going is no accident — especially after it happens multiple times in a row.

The quick answers I have for you are going to require some backbone on your part to implement. One solution would be to agree to meet at a certain location but find your own transportation there and set a time that you will arrive promptly on time without having to hop into your friend's car.

A second solution would be to tell your friend in advance that you're not going to answer the front door until it's time to leave, because you absolutely must complete the tasks you have scheduled before you can allocate free time to yourself. Neither of these options is likely to go over well, but they will definitely show backbone on your part and indirectly imply to your friend just how serious you are.

Implement one or the other of these immediately and see what reaction you get. From there, you can make good decisions in terms of deciding to get a ride that is without harassment or to simply take care of your own business first before you open the door at all.

I'M FACING WORKPLACE BULLYING

DR. WALLACE: I'm being bullied, but not at school; it's in my workplace! My normal personality is to be cooperative and accommodating, and since I work at a busy restaurant as a server, my personality style works really well with the customers who appreciate the diligence and courtesy I regularly extend to them.

But my coworkers, three in particular, are another issue. They squabble about what stations we will work at, whose order has just come up in the kitchen and sometimes they even take my entrees ahead of theirs, when my legitimate order has come up first! I haven't said anything to management yet, but I'm getting really tired of being pushed around by three aggressive male servers who all seem to know each other well and be close friends. What can I do about this, especially since it looks like I'll need to be working with these people for a while? I make good money at this job and quitting it right now is not an option for me. — Victim of Workplace Bullying, via email

VICTIM OF WORKPLACE BULLYING: When things aren't going right in the kitchen and your orders are being intercepted ahead of their orders that are still being prepared, the first thing you can do is go to the head chef or head cook and explain your situation. This may resolve the matter if you have a strong enough chef or lead cook to stand up to these guys.

If that does not work, you owe it to yourself and your customers to diplomatically seek to speak to your restaurant manager or owner. Allowing workplace bullying to fester unchecked only leads to an amplification of the intensity and frequency of being pushed around.

It's not your job to discipline the coworkers who are out of line, but it is your job to stand up for yourself and make sure management understands exactly what is going on.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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