DR. WALLACE: I'm the parent of two teenagers of high school age, and I'm afraid every time they drive with other teenagers or travel as a passenger in another teenager's car.
I nag my teenagers constantly to drive safely, to not text and drive and to not be distracted when they are behind the wheel. A big part of the reason I'm so fearful is that I've already seen two horrific accidents on the local news, and both of them involved teenage drivers.
Why is it that teen drivers seem to be involved in terrible accidents every year? I seem to recall that they occur every spring and summer in large numbers, and this really heightens my anxiety at this time of year. — A Very Concerned Parent, via email
A VERY CONCERNED PARENT: Your concerns are justified. Motor vehicle accidents are the number one killer of young adults, and I've seen studies that indicate that the primary reason for this is that teenage drivers speed three times more often than older drivers do.
You should have your teenagers commit to driving only at legal speeds and to exiting any car when it's safe when another driver persists in speeding. This element alone will greatly enhance your children's vehicular safety.
Yes, distracted driving should be avoided, and wearing seat belts is mandatory, but speed is the number one challenge to safety in this age group.
Speed reduces how long the driver has to react and can also create too much inertia, causing a vehicle going too fast to slide off the roadway when turning.
Insist that your teenagers take responsibility for their own personal safety. Not only should they drive carefully, defensively, attentively and at safe speeds, but they must also only ever ride with drivers who do the same. Tell your children that refusing to ride in vehicles with drivers who drive too fast or drive dangerously both keeps themselves safe and sets an example for others.
Never punish your teens for exiting an unsafe vehicle if it causes them to be late to school or to any other function. Arriving at the destination safely is paramount. Drive this point home and do discuss these terrible automobile crashes that were caused in your area by unsafe teen driving habits.
SHOULD I SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY "COLD" STEPSISTER?
DR. WALLACE: I have a stepmother now since my father and I lost my mother to breast cancer five years ago. I'm a teenage girl who's a freshman in high school. My dad is great to me, and he remarried two years ago.
I like my stepmother a lot, which surprises a lot of people, including my close friends. My stepmom is friendly, she cares about me and she helps me with many things in my life. Sometimes I have sensitive questions, and she takes me to a quiet spot so we can talk alone and then she always gives me a big hug.
My problem is that her daughter is a freshman in college, and she visits us one or two weekends a month for a night or maybe two per visit. This daughter is my stepsister, and she's extremely aloof and borderline mean to me. I've tried to be nice and talk to her a few times, but she always rolls her eyes and blows me off.
Is there anything I can do about this? Should I tell my dad that my stepsister is mean to me? — Love My Stepmom, via email
LOVE MY STEPMOM: Since your stepsister is a college student living elsewhere and only stays overnight two to four nights a month, I'd advise you to just ignore her rudeness for now. There's always a chance that she'll grow out of it later in her life. Continue being nice to her and say hello and conduct yourself well despite her antics.
Your very loving relationship with your stepmom is important, so don't feel the need to involve your parents regarding your stepsister. Focus on your parents and the love and respect they both provide you.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: why kei at Unsplash
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