DR. WALLACE: My grandfather has come to live at our home since his wife passed away a few months ago. He's a nice enough fellow, but he has this habit of asking me a lot of specific questions that make me uncomfortable. I'm a 17-year-old girl and he often asks me where I'm going when I'm leaving the house or who I'll be spending my time with.

This makes me feel uncomfortable since it seems like he's being a bit too nosy for my comfort zone. He's always been a good grandfather over the years, but now that he lives in our house full time, he makes me a little nervous and uneasy whenever I'm ready to head out since I know he's going to ask me a lot of questions. Why do you think he does this? — It Makes Me Uncomfortable, via email

IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE: It could be that your grandfather is bored and simply is making conversation with you, or he could be trying to look out for you in his own awkward way.

The fact that you mentioned that he's always been a good grandfather over the years should give you a baseline that he's a nice person and has your best interests at heart. If you really want to know why he asks you those questions, I believe you can get the answers directly from him! Simply sit down next to him some day at an appropriate time and ask him nicely why he has so many questions for you. He'll likely come clean and tell you exactly why he does this. My guess is that it's a combination of the two factors you've mentioned. Primarily in his own way he's likely looking out for you, and secondarily he's probably just making conversation since it's probably lonesome to be stuck in your house most of the day with his wife now being gone.

Take time whenever you can to talk to him about topics that you are comfortable discussing, whatever they may be. Perhaps the two of you share some hobbies or interests and if you're able to direct a few conversations with him in that direction, you'll likely feel better overall about your conversations with him.

I AGREE YOU DESERVE SOCIAL TIME

DR. WALLACE: My parents and I moved to this country 10 years ago and now I'm a junior in high school. I really love America and all the freedoms and opportunities that we have here in this great country.

However, there is one thing I would like to be able to do but I'm being prohibited from doing at this time. My parents take academic achievements quite seriously and they want me to get the best possible grades I can in high school so that I will be able to attend a prestigious university. They feel such a university would set me up well to ultimately land an excellent job at some point in my future.

The problem is that my parents don't allow me to date at all! In fact, they told me that I'm not allowed to go on any dates until I graduate from high school. This obviously has put a big crimp on my social life, and I feel quite embarrassed as well.

I'm a good student, and I don't feel that a few hours spent going out on a date occasionally will make any difference regarding my grade-point average. I already study over 20 hours a week outside of my classroom time.

Since you used to work at public high schools in the past, I'm hoping that by writing to your column, you might print my letter and provide an affirmative answer that I can show to my parents. Do you feel I should be allowed to go out on a few dates? I'll even be willing to promise my parents that I'll maintain my grades throughout high school, and if I don't, I'll stop dating. How do you feel about my situation? — Dateless in Seattle, via email

DATELESS IN SEATTLE: I feel that every student should be allowed to go on at least the occasional date as long as they are mentally, physically and emotionally equipped to do so. Based upon your age and the articulate nature of your letter, I'd say that I strongly feel that you're more than qualified to do so. Explain to your parents that you seek balance in your life and this balance will help you become an even better student by giving you some free time away from your studies to help you recharge your mind.

I do like your idea about being sure to maintain your grades especially given the cultural background your heritage places on academic achievement. If you can maintain achieving excellent grades, I feel there is absolutely no reason for you not to be allowed some social time to balance out your life, and to allow you to get the full experience of attending an American high school.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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