I Told Her the Truth and It Has Cost Me Twice as Much Time

By Dr. Robert Wallace

March 13, 2023 6 min read

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and when my mother picked me up from a friend's house last weekend, she smelled alcohol on my breath! It's true that I had one and a half beers over a four-hour period, but even though I wasn't technically drunk, my mom flew off the handle and grounded me for two months!

I asked her why it was going to be two months, and she said one month for each beer! (I had told her the truth about the one and a half beers.) I then told my mom that I did not drink two full beers, but she told me I started two beers, and she didn't care that I didn't fully drink the second one. So, if I had lied and told her that I drank only one beer, then my punishment would only have been one month, not two! I don't think this is fair at all, so I'm writing to you so that my mom can see your answer since I'm sure you think two months of being grounded is outrageous like I do. — My Punishment Is Too Severe, via email

MY PUNISHMENT IS TOO SEVERE: Let's review the facts to start with. First of all, you were drinking alcohol as a 17-year-old, which is against the law. There is no doubt your mother does not find that fact amusing. Second, you have made the focus of your letter all about the duration of your punishment, with not one word about remorse, learning your lesson or admitting you made a very poor decision in the first place.

I posit that you have made a poor choice and that you have put yourself in the position in which you currently find yourself. Your mother's punishment is indeed one that has not only gotten your attention, but by the time your grounding ends, you will never forget the consequences of your actions.

I have no position on the duration of your punishment since I don't have enough background facts about your past behavior, your family's rules and anything else that might be either mitigating for you or a further step in a previously poor series of decisions.

I do have a suggestion for you, however. I suggest that you stop talking and complaining about the length of your grounding and instead focus on using the time at home to be a better student and a better helper around your home. Don't complain; do the opposite! Ask if you can help with the laundry, vacuuming or cleaning out the garage. Seek to be helpful, earnest and contrite. Then at some point if your mother asks you why you are offering to be so helpful, tell her that you have two primary reasons: first, that you made up your mind to use your "grounded" time wisely as a way of being helpful and learning your lesson, and second, that it would put you in the best position to perhaps get a few days cut off your "sentence."

Then tell mom that even if she keeps you grounded the full two months, you won't complain and that you'll remain helpful. If you can do this and have your actions back it up, you'll benefit one way or another. At the very least your relationship with your mother will be on more solid footing once you're free again, and that will be a very good thing.

HIS NOTES ARE GROSS!

DR. WALLACE: A boy at my school who sits near me in one of my classes has been passing me unwanted notes that ask me questions about my personal life, and let's just say he wants to know about my level of "experience" with other boys!

I'm 16 and so is he as we are both sophomores at our high school. He even wrote out a checklist of "experiences" with a little box next to each one, and the note asked me to check the boxes of the ones I've tried. There was another box next to that one to check if I "liked" that specific experience.

I was shocked to say the least, and I simply made a mad face at him and crumpled up the note and put it in my backpack so I wouldn't litter in the classroom (plus I did not want anyone to see it since I found it so embarrassing).

The very next day, he passed me another note and told me that he'd pay me $5 for every question I answered "yes" to. I don't like him, and I feel he is very creepy and gross. How can I get him to stop bothering me with his stupid notes? — Very Disgusted, via email

VERY DISGUSTED: This boy is sexually harassing you and this must be stopped immediately. Hopefully you still have one or both notes in your possession. Immediately inform your teacher in that class plus the administration office, including your school's principal.

There is no place for this type of behavior in any public or private school, and you have every right to be disgusted and for this harassment to be ended immediately. Don't hesitate at all; take these actions right away. I'm glad that you wrote in so that you'll be confident in knowing that informing the faculty and school administration is absolutely the right thing to do here.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: tykejones at Pixabay

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