DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old female and I recently met a guy who I found interesting. We met at one of my cousin's birthday parties on a cold winter Saturday night. Everyone was bundled up in jackets, sweaters and scarves, especially the girls. Even a few macho-looking guys had big jackets on too as most of the party spilled out to a large backyard with a big patio.

Anyhow, we talked that night and got along well, and then he asked me out on a date. I accepted and we went out twice within two weeks. The dates went fairly well but since we were strangers before we met, we spent most of the time just talking about our lives up to this point.

Then our third date changed my perspective! It was a hiking date on a sunny day that was cool but not ice cold. This guy wore a short-sleeved shirt and Bermuda shorts along with his hiking boots. That was fine given we were going on a hike, but I was stunned when his lighter clothes revealed some really wild tattoos!

Some of them were borderline pornographic and others depicted imagery that I was uncomfortable with. He acted fine and we completed our hike, but it's strange for me to realize that I'm now not so sure I want to keep dating him any longer. Am I a bad person for potentially judging a book by its cover when it comes to his skin art? — Not Into Tattoos, via email

NOT INTO TATTOOS: My take on this topic is, "to each his own," meaning that everyone has the right to march to their own drumbeat. His style may not match yours, and there is nothing wrong with that from either of your perspectives.

Since you've only dated three times, the two of you don't have a lot of time and effort invested in each other, so if his body art is a deal breaker from your point of view, so be it. However, I would suggest that if you elect to stop dating him for this reason that you at least honestly explain to him the reason why. I trust over the time he has had these tattoos that he has had a wide variety of reactions to them, both positive and negative, so tell him what you think and at least give him a chance to respond to your concerns.

SMOKE IS SMOKE, NO MATTER THE SOURCE

DR. WALLACE: My grandpa likes your column a lot and he reads it regularly, so this is why I'm writing to you. Grandpa likes to smoke a pipe, and he does so about twice a day for about 45 minutes at a time.

The other day I mentioned to grandpa that his pipe is exposing my baby sister who is 3 and me to secondhand smoke. Grandpa said that there's "hardly any exhaust" from his pipe and it's not emitting smoke like a cigarette would. Therefore he feels his pipe is entirely harmless to those around him.

I like my grandpa a lot and I don't want to argue with him. He treats me great, and we even go to many baseball games together.

I'd just like to know if I'm right or grandpa is right about his pipe smoke. I don't plan to lecture him or anything like that, but I am very curious about what you think on this issue. — His Favorite Grandson, via email

HIS FAVORITE GRANDSON: I side with you on this issue. Smoke is smoke and secondhand smoke is secondhand smoke. Your grandpa may not be emitting the volume of smoke that a pack-a-day smoker would, but this pipe still produces harmful toxins that can do damage to your lungs and those of your young sister.

If possible, see if your parents can arrange a "smoking area" for grandpa in your backyard or on your patio where can take his two daily smoke breaks. If it's still cold in your area, be sure grandpa is dressed for the weather including a nice, warm jacket. Spring will arrive soon to warm things up and this will hopefully make the outdoors more palatable.

It would be optimal if grandpa would quit smoking entirely, but at his current age that is not likely. The next best thing would be to have him do his pipe-puffing outdoors going forward.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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