DR. WALLACE: One of my close friends lives out of town, and I recently went to visit for a weekend and stayed at her house. While I was there, I noticed that after eating meals together, she would spend a lot of time in the bathroom, and sometimes I thought I heard her throwing up.

At first, I thought she might have just had an upset stomach, and since she didn't mention anything, I didn't bring it up. One night, however, I noticed a bottle of laxatives sitting on the counter in her bathroom, and this made me even more suspicious. I'm back home from my trip now but can't stop worrying that my friend is struggling with an eating disorder. I have no idea how to ask her about it because it did seem somewhat clear to me that she was trying to hide it from me when I was with her — at least that's the impression I was left with.

Is it my place to get involved? If so, what should I do? — Concerned friend, via email

CONCERNED FRIEND: Since you are a close friend of hers and she is of yours, think for a moment if the situation were reversed. Would you want her to mention anything to you?

In the short run, you likely wouldn't, but over the long run, you likely would. But this example I'm running through only applies if she's experiencing a problem or disorder.

Only you know how she would react to you if you were to bring this up to her in error. By this, I mean if she actually does not have a disorder and was taking this medication for a valid reason, how would she likely respond to your mention of a potential problem?

If you are quite sure she would just laugh it off, you'd then have a pretty limited downside in bringing something up. However, if a false, incorrect accusation might set her off unnecessarily, then you should absolutely tread quite carefully and do more research and observation before you say anything. Keep in mind that you also don't know her current medical history or if she's planning to go through any medical tests in the near future.

One way to perhaps keep a close eye on her would be to visit her again when appropriate or invite her to spend some time at your house. Then if the same activity occurs again, you could find the most appropriate way to bring it up to her. Carefully engage her in conversation about it and be diplomatic with your comments according to her reply.

This is absolutely a delicate situation for you, but think about how you feel about your friend and how your friend feels about you. Do your best to carefully research how she's doing and bring it up to her as carefully as you can at the appropriate time. If you spend time with her overnight a few more times in the future and nothing further occurs, you may be able to dismiss the event entirely. But then also keep a close eye on her physical health, just like you would for a sibling or parent of yours. In the end, you're doing nothing wrong by continuing to look out for someone you deeply care about.

IS THIS REALLY A GOOD PET TO HAVE?

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 13, and my best friend is moving out of our state this summer. I'm really sad about this, but my dad says that I'm lucky because we can still text each other and send each other pictures on our cellphones. Dad said that when he was a kid, anyone who moved did not have cellphones or the internet to help them to stay in touch across state lines.

Anyhow, my best girlfriend has a small pet snake. It's green, harmless and not poisonous. Her dad said she has to give it away when they move in the middle of June.

She offered it to me. Should I take it? Can a snake really be a good pet? — Sad to lose my friend, via email

SAD TO LOSE MY FRIEND: Snakes indeed can be good pets. Simply do your research to see how a small snake such as this one needs to be attended to. You should ask your girlfriend all about it and watch her while she feeds her pet and cleans its living quarters.

Of course, you should check with your parents to get permission in advance. Perhaps you could also tell your mom and dad that at least you would feel more connected to your girlfriend by having her pet snake after she leaves town!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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