DR. WALLACE: Little by little, I started making bad decisions, and sadly, I now have a really bad reputation that I must admit I've brought upon myself. I've smoked and drank and had sex so many times in so many places that I literally can't remember them all. I'm in my early 20s, but from the ages of 16 to 19, I was truly out of control.

I know I can't undo the things that I've already done, but I'd like to get some perspective on how to move forward and be a better person. Sometimes I feel that it's no use to even try to improve, but other times I feel this very small spark of hope that I can become a better and more reliable person if I just try. Can you help point me in the right direction? — Need to Change, via email

NEED TO CHANGE: First of all, thank you for writing and seeking to improve yourself; everyone has a better version of themselves waiting to be discovered, and you are truly no different in that regard. The good news is, you've taken that crucial first step of realizing that you want to make a change. You've also been proactive enough to write to me here, so that's a great start.

My suggestion is to build upon this momentum immediately by surrounding yourself with good, earnest people who will help you on your journey. Seek out others who have qualities you admire and ask them for their help directly. You'd be surprised at how many people are willing to help others if they're simply asked to do so.

You don't need to go into all of the details of your checkered past; you can simply say that you made some bad choices and you truly want to improve yourself right here and right now. Start with family members, friends or others you already know and trust. If you need to go beyond that group, there are many good free counseling services available to the citizens of this country, and several of them can be quickly researched online. Take advantage of them! The key is getting started and maintaining positive momentum with a good support group that will root you on, hold you accountable and encourage you when things inevitably don't go perfectly. Making positive changes is a process, and one that must be worked at. I know you have it in you to succeed in this journey, so please know that all the readers of this column and I are absolutely rooting for your success.

NO RUSH NECESSARY

DR. WALLACE: Teenage girls should read my story so that they can avoid the mistake I nearly made.

When I was a teenager, I was in love and wanted to get married to my boyfriend (then 18 years old). I was 17 and a half and felt deeply in love with him. My parents kind of liked my boyfriend, although they did voice a few concerns about him. The key is that they were adamant that we should wait. They didn't tell me NOT to get married; they simply told me I was too young to get married, so I should wait and continue to date him. I actually listened to my parents' advice and we decided to wait until we were both 21 to get married.

Four years later, I'm a junior in college and engaged to a wonderful man — not the guy I wanted to marry back then! I'll spare you the details of why that first relationship didn't work out, but I will say that looking back now, I hardly remember that teenage girl who was in love with another guy.

Now that I'm older, I'm not ashamed to say that my parents were right, and I think much differently now than I did back when I was 17. I'm very, very, very happy I waited. Young teen girls, please take my story into consideration and keep an open mind when it comes to waiting! Not rushing into a teen marriage is the best decision I have ever made. — Not Ready Back Then, via email

NOT READY BACK THEN: Thanks for the good advice and your educational story. Some young people think they know all they need to know, especially when it comes to love. But experience and maturity are huge factors as well if you wish to engage in a successful marriage.

Look at it this way: If you're with the right person all along, waiting a little longer to finally tie the knot won't cause any problems at all. However, if the inverse is true and you're not actually with the right person, avoiding a huge mistake is worth it. I'm glad you waited until you were mature enough to make better decisions. I trust there will be young ladies who read your story and heed your advice going forward in their own lives.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: NGDPhotoworks at Pixabay