DR. WALLACE: My dad won't let me go out with the guy who drives a van. I believe it's because he thinks vans are inherently dangerous, much more dangerous than regular sedan cars. I'm 17, and my boyfriend is 18, and I've been trying to convince my dad that if I was a passenger involved in an accident in a van, I'd be safer than I would be in a small car. A van rides higher on the road and would be heavier and subject to less damage than a regular compact car would. My dad just laughed and literally said to me, "You're not getting my point at all, are you, young lady?"

Whose side of this point do you favor and why? I told my dad that I would write to you, and he agreed to take your answer into consideration. Mind you, he did not promise to necessarily follow your advice, but he will factor your thoughts into his final decision. He was literally laughing when he said this to me. I didn't think it was funny. No pressure, Dr. Wallace, but what's your take on this? — Girl Dating Dan With a Van, Peoria, Arizona

GIRL DATING DAN WITH A VAN: I don't think an automobile collision was necessarily the type of "accident" your father was thinking about! Your letter focuses only on the driving logistics, but I believe your father might be uncomfortable with the idea that a van can often be considered a small room on wheels.

IGNORE RUMORS UNLESS YOU DO KNOW BETTER

DR. WALLACE: I have become good friends with a girl I met in Dallas since we moved here over year ago. Recently, someone at her church told my mother that my best friend has a "shady" background. As the rumor goes, at one time, she had a very bad reputation around town. I have gotten to know her quite well, and this simply isn't true. My friend is very sweet and innocent. When we are together, we never even discuss sex, even though we are both 16 and soon to turn 17. In fact, I have firsthand knowledge that my friend has never even been on a date.

But now it appears my mother wants me to find another friend because, as she puts it, "If that girl has a shady reputation, it will reflect on you and kids will think you're just like her." When I asked my mother who told her all this stuff, she only said that it was someone who knew this girl's family quite well. I think all of this gossip is sick, and I told my mother so. My father actually takes the opposite point of view and says that I should ignore my mother and stay good friends with my best girlfriend.

I have since found out that the gossip spreader is the minister's wife. Why would this seemingly respectable lady do such a thing? I don't understand why adults do what they do sometimes. — Girl Who Believes Her Friend, Dallas

GIRL WHO BELIEVES HER FRIEND: Maybe the minister's wife spends more time stirring up trouble than she does focusing on helping others, and if that is true, it would indeed be an unfortunate circumstance. However, at your age, it's hard to know exactly who is telling the truth and who may be spreading rumors.

I suggest you ignore the local noise and treat your friend how she treats you and how you observe her treat others. If she is truly a sweet girl, you have nothing to worry about.

And regarding the subject of hypocrites, they come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ages and genders. Unless you observe some unseemly behavior or hear an unpleasant comment yourself, simply ignore the rumor mill, and you'll find your time better spent focusing on what is right in front of you. In this particular case, based on what you have told me here, I agree with your father's point of view.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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