DR. WALLACE: You told a woman to leave her husband. That is terrible advice. Marriage is for life. Didn't you ever attend a wedding and hear the minister say, "Till death do us part"? He said nothing about leaving when things get a little difficult.

My religion teaches that divorce is out of the question. You probably won't print my letter because I disagree with you, but you should read the Good Book before you tell a wife to leave her husband, even if they are both 19. — Nameless, New Orleans, La.

NAMELESS: Marriage is a sacred commitment, but there are times when even that commitment has to be broken. Wife-beating is one of those times. I don't know where in the Good Book it says that a wife should endure being beaten or even killed by her cowardly husband.

NOT BRIBES, BUT CONSIDERED INCENTIVES

DR. WALLACE: Our school is planning to go to a "rewards" program next school year. Students will be rewarded for getting good grades, having perfect attendance and being good citizens. The rewards will include free admittance to school functions, such as football and basketball games, school dances and plays; premier parking spaces; and 50 percent off the cost of the yearbook.

I like the idea, but my parents think it is not a good idea to "bribe" students to do their best. Since you are a former high school administrator, I'd like to know what you think about the reward system. — Lola, Honolulu, Hawaii

LOLA: I like the idea and would have initiated a similar program when I was an administrator at Garden Grove (CA) High School, if I had thought of it. I understand that many school districts have adopted this sort of program with much success.

These are not bribes; they're constructive incentives. Any program that encourages good citizenship, good grades and perfect attendance should be welcomed by students, parents and school personnel.

To avoid controversy, the rewards should be based strictly on grades with no consideration given for the difficulty of the course. This would allow the entire student body to participate equally.

IT GAVE ME SELF-ESTEEM AND HAPPINESS

DR. WALLACE: I want to sincerely commend you for encouraging the teenage girl from Battle Creek, Michigan, to contact Alateen. She needed help because her mom and dad were alcoholics.

I also came from an alcoholic family. My grandmother, mother and older sister all fell into the grip of alcoholism, and I'm convinced that without Alateen and my sponsor, I would have gone down the same path. It saved my life and has given me something I never expected — self-esteem and happiness.

The friends I've made in Alateen are the closest ones I have and are always there for me when I need them. They and the program have kept me from slipping into insanity many, many times and I am forever indebted to them for their strength and for providing hope. Dr. Wallace, please print my message. — Amy, Reno, Nev.

TEENS: If alcohol consumption by loved ones is causing turmoil in your life, you are not alone. Contact Alateen. Your life will get better! Alateen, which is part of the non-profit organization Al-Anon Family Group, is for young people whose lives are being hurt by someone else's drinking. You can contact Al-Anon or Alateen by looking in your local telephone directory.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Brendan Adkins