DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and live with my mother. My mom and dad were divorced several years ago, and I have very little contact with my dad, but he still fulfills his obligations for my support. My parents hate each other, but that is not my problem. I love both of them and do my best to get along with each of them without riling them up against each other.

I'm a solid B student and I dislike studying so I hadn't planned on going to college, but lately I've been considering it. I'm a good athlete, but my mom ruins every game for me. She always yells at my coach, or the umpires, or the referees. She even yells at the other players. When she comes to my school she usually gets into arguments with my teachers, the principal and even the people working in the cafeteria. She is a real busybody, and everyone who knows her dislikes her.

I've been thinking about going to our local community college and then if all goes well I could transfer to a four-year college. My father has already set up a college fund for me, so finances wouldn't be a problem.

My problem is that my mother will probably pull the same stuff with my community college coaches and teachers that she does with the high school staff. Because of her behavior I also don't have many friends at school, but I want to change this in college.

What can I do to make sure that she does not make enemies of my college coaches and teachers? If she tries her old tricks again, I may have to just quit. — Ken, Anaheim, Calif.

KEN: College is much different from high school, both for the student and for the parents. You will be far more independent there, so parental influence is minimized. The type of conflict you describe, between your mother and the school, is extremely rare in college because the students are older and more mature.

When you enroll, tell your counselor about the problems your mother had with high school teachers and officials. Trust me, she will not be permitted to interfere with your college activities.

THE TIME HAS COME FOR AN EYE-FOR-AN-EYE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and sort of overweight. A boy who lives across the street keeps calling me names such as "fatso," "lard buns," "elephant hips" and other mean things you couldn't print. I go to a public school, but this kid goes to a fancy private school and thinks he's a privileged character. Lately, he has been punching me on the arms and back.

I talked with my grandmother and she says to "turn the other cheek," and this bully will stop pestering me. I've tried that, and he continues to punch me even more. I may be overweight, but I'm not a sissy. I just don't believe in violence. I still have huge bruises on my arms and shoulders all caused by this bully. He thinks I'll never fight back.

I talked with my grandmother again yesterday. She called the bully's mother, who said her son had told her I was swearing at him and deserved getting hit. This is untrue. So do you think the time has come for me to defend myself? — Nameless, Geneva, Ill.

NAMELESS: Those who read our column regularly know what my answer will be. You've been turning the other cheek long enough. Now comes the time for "an eye for an eye." Once the bully gets whipped, or at least understands you are going to defend yourself, he'll go elsewhere to look for a human punching bag.

Most bullies are cowards who search for those who can be intimidated. That's not you anymore!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.