DR. WALLACE: I'm a senior in high school and I have a secret crush on a guy who has no idea that I even exist! I've kept this secret from my girlfriends because I find it a bit embarrassing and I don't want anyone to try to intervene on my behalf.

If I'm brave enough to approach him before the school year starts to evaporate too much, how should I best go about it? — I Have a Secret Crush, via email

I HAVE A SECRET CRUSH: Instead of just staring at him whenever you see him at school, do your best research to find out what he's interested in. Check to see if he plays any sports, belongs to any clubs or if you see him carrying any books or items that might indicate an area of interest he has personally.

If you can come up with at least one item, you could research that topic and when you come across him at school someday, mention to him that you also know a bit about whatever that topic is. But do your research and be prepared to have at least a moderate conversation about that subject. This is a safe way to meet someone without being too forward, but it may also indicate to the other person that you could be interested because you initiated a conversation. In the right circumstances, that is a good thing! Given the position you took in your letter, I trust this is indeed your goal.

One last idea would be to come up with a general question that you can ask a lot of your fellow classmates. It may be about career jobs, going to college, junior college, or a trade school or any such "survey" question that you could literally ask anyone on your campus. Approach several people to ask your question and if possible, ask someone near him and then ask him the identical question and thank them for taking your "informal survey!" This would be another way to create an icebreaker. If you go with this idea, be sure to carry a small notebook or have your phone open to notes and actually record every reply you receive to make your survey both valid and serious!

I'M SOMETIMES OVER THE TOP WITH MY ADVICE AND INPUT

DR. WALLACE: Help! I have a lot of friends, but recently some of them have pulled me aside and told me that I overanalyze everything they tell me that's going on in their lives.

What I mean by this is they'll mention a topic, or something that's going on with them or maybe even a problem or challenge they're dealing with. For some reason, I feel like I must be a detective and scrutinize their situation, think about it carefully and try to come up with suggestions, ideas, and potential solutions. I'm just trying to help, because it's the way I feel about my friends, but some of them have told me I'm coming on too strong. What should I do now? Should I apologize or do something else? — I Can Be a Bit Overbearing, via email

I CAN BE A BIT OVERBEARING: Rather than apologize directly to several individuals one-on-one, the next time you're in a group conversation and a typical topic comes up that you would normally opine about, alter your usual reply.

Instead of giving a few early suggestions and then going off and thinking about the situation so that you can offer further suggestions later, simply make a neutral, encouraging comment like, "I wish you well with that and I hope it works out for you." Then perhaps go on to say that you'll "leave it there" unless the person would like deeper feedback. At that point, laugh at yourself a little bit and mention that at times you can get a little too involved with suggestions, so you'll refrain now from doing so unless specifically asked to do so.

Perhaps all of your friends would appreciate these comments and nod their heads in agreement with you for curbing tendencies and dialing down any unsolicited advice.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Egor Vikhrev at Unsplash