DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who's a high school junior, and I finally got up the nerve to ask a really cute girl I've had my eye on out for a date. I fully expected her to decline my offer, but as I was asking her, I was actually proud of myself for giving it a shot.

To my utter amazement, she agreed, and we ended up having a nice five-minute conversation before we both had to head off to class. That was almost three weeks ago, and although I really enjoy hanging out with her and spending time together, I have to admit to you that the relationship at this early point seems pretty lopsided to me. By lopsided, I mean she's always dictating where we're going to go, what we're going to do and who we're going to visit if we're out together and so forth.

Because I was pretty happy to have the opportunity to date her, I found myself just agreeing and going along with all her suggestions. But now that it's been about three weeks, I'm growing concerned that if I don't stand up for myself soon, I'm going to start developing feelings of frustration or disdain toward her, and I certainly don't want to do that.

What can I do to get untangled from the routine we've fallen into so quickly? — I'm Both Happy and Concerned, via email

I'M BOTH HAPPY AND CONCERNED: Simply prepare in advance a few things you would like to do, or people you would like to go see together, when you're out on a date and mention these ideas to her enthusiastically. Smile and calmly tell her how much fun it will be for the two of you to act upon a few of your suggestions.

You'll soon find out a little more about her personality and her willingness for your fledgling relationship to potentially evolve into a two-way street. If she agrees and is a willing partner in acting on some of your ideas, that will indicate to you that you simply need to be proactive in a balanced way to keep things moving ahead smoothly.

However, if she shuts your ideas down entirely and persists with having everything being done the way she wants it done, you'll soon have bigger decisions to make than simply how you want to spend your time together with her.

HE'S GREAT EXCEPT FOR HIS GREASY KISSES!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I just got permission from my parents to start dating within the last three months.

The first couple guys I dated were all right, but we didn't really click personally, so I didn't advance to a second date with either of them. But the third guy who asked me out on a date was a lot more fun, and we enjoyed hanging out together and talking about a lot of things we have in common.

Our first date turned into a second and then a third date quite easily. Then on our fourth date, just before we were going to leave, he said, "I'd like to kiss you good night. Hold on for a second." He then took out some ChapStick from his pocket, put it on his lips, then gave me a kiss. But this kiss was kind of deflating for me because it wasn't spontaneous, and his lips felt all greasy!

The next date after that, the exact same thing happened, and now he's making it a habit of kissing me at the end of every date, but he always pulls out his ChapStick first! What should I do about this? I asked him once about it, and he claims he has very dry lips and didn't want to be embarrassed. — I Think This Is Weird, via email

I THINK THIS IS WEIRD: I'm not sure about it being weird, but it's definitely unique! I can understand why you're not thrilled with both the greasiness of the ChapStick and the fact that it takes away the spontaneity of the moment for you.

If you really like him otherwise and want to stay with him for a period of time, I suggest you simply have a discussion with him early on during one of your future dates and just be honest with him. Explain that you enjoy a goodnight kiss but find his overuse of ChapStick to be a negative rather than a positive. Explain that you feel his natural lips will be just fine and that you would both benefit from the spontaneity of a future kiss without any consumer products between the two of you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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