DR. WALLACE: I'm a first-year college student, and I've got a fine boyfriend, so I feel bad even bringing this up to you, but I'm going to do it anyway. He's a great guy in many respects, and we've gotten along fabulously in our relationship thus far.

However, his one major flaw in my eyes that makes me cringe is the way that he eats in public. Not only does he grab his fork in an awkward kind of grip that makes him look like he's a prisoner in an institution, but he literally wolfs his food down in such a rapid fashion that it's beyond embarrassing! I am a petite girl, and I love to leisurely eat my food, enjoy a conversation and return to each savory bite without rushing. He's exactly the opposite. In fact, he eats so quickly, it's almost as if he expects someone to steal his food from him, the way a big dog will eat food put on the ground quickly before a smaller dog can get much of it.

I'm worried that if I say anything to him, he may not take it well, and it may put our relationship in jeopardy. Should I say anything to him about this, or should I just suffer in silence every time we eat out at a public restaurant? — He Barely Chews Food, via email

HE BARELY CHEWS FOOD: Wow, based on what you're saying in your letter, something indeed must be said to him! The key here is going to be the diplomacy with which you engage in this delicate discussion.

Perhaps a good way to go about it would be to have a more general conversation with him first. In this conversation, mention that you were reading various bits of advice online regarding relationships, and one suggestion you noticed (you're reading it here now) is for relationship partners to each make two suggestions to the other partner on things you could perhaps help them improve with or things that you find difficult to some degree. Mention that the suggestions are meant to be done in earnest, for the benefit of the overall relationship and for the benefit of each individual involved.

You already know one of the two things you want to mention to him, so think of another item that is very minor and easily palpable for him to absorb. Hopefully he will have two items for constructive suggestions that he can bring up about you as well. In fact, let him go first and mention one of the two things he would like to suggest to you. Then when it's your turn, mention the "easier" of the two items you want to discuss with him. Then allow him to give his second item regarding his suggestions for you, and you can thank him for the suggestions and tell him that you'll take them into consideration for the betterment of your relationship. Then conclude with your second suggestion to him by bringing up this key issue. Simply state that you've noticed that the speed at which he eats and at which you eat when out in public are vastly different. Ask him if it would be possible for him to slow down so you don't feel self-conscious about lagging behind. Hopefully approaching this issue in such a tactful manner will bring you the result you desire.

MY FATHER SAYS EVERY PROBLEM HAS ONLY ONE SOLUTION

DR. WALLACE: I'm a teenage girl being raised by a single father, and he's great in so many ways. He's done so much for me and is always there to help me with whatever I may need.

He also gives me great advice, and I can talk to him about any subject at all. We have a really good, open relationship, where we are comfortable discussing everything between the two of us. There's no doubt that we have a special bond.

There is one thing that I slightly disagree with him about, and although I can fully understand his logic, I thought I would run it by you just to get your take on the situation. Whenever I'm facing a problem, my father often tells me to think carefully about it and take my time, and that the answer will come to me eventually. He tells me that for every situation, there is only one possible solution.

However, even though I take his advice when these situations crop up, many times I feel there are as many as three or four possible solutions to a particular situation I'm dealing with. It doesn't usually seem to me to be as clear cut as having only one possible solution. How should I think about these situations when they arise? My dad thinks there's only one possible solution for everything, but I can usually see many possible solutions to even some of the most challenging things I face these days. — Is There Only One Solution to Everything? via email

IS THERE ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING?: First, I think it's wonderful that you and your father are so very close and that you share such a special bond together. It's obvious in reading your letter how much you lean on him, depend on him and value his guidance in your life.

As to the topic you've brought up here, perhaps the difference between the two of you is more grounded in nomenclature than in the number of possible solutions. For example, your father may actually be saying something like, "There is only one best solution." This would make more literal sense than thinking there is only one singular solution for any particular problem that may crop up.

And from your point of view, seeing three or four possible solutions to a situation still fits well within your father's advice, as he tells you to think carefully about the situation and that the answer, the correct answer, will come to you eventually. This can mean selecting the very best option out of the possibilities you've been able to think through.

Looking at it this way, I see you both saying the same thing, albeit out in slightly different ways.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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