DR. WALLACE: I'm a sophomore in high school and I usually get a ride to school from my sister who is a senior and has her own car. She's 18 and even has an after-school job.
This is all great except for one thing. She's late to school at least once, and often twice a week! This means that on the days that she's late to school, I am also late to school, and my first period teacher is not amused and is threatening to reduce my grade in this class due to mounting tardiness.
My parents are busy professionals who leave home an hour or more before we do. What can I do about this? How do I convince my habitually late sister to suddenly become very aware of the clock and become punctual?
I'm really worried that if I don't start showing up on time regularly, my grade is indeed going to be impacted, and I don't want that to happen. I feel it's unfair since it's not my fault. I'm always dressed and ready well before we need to leave, but she fritters away the time that races to school like she's driving at NASCAR. Help! — I Prefer To Be On Time, via email
I PREFER TO BE ON TIME: You are making the mistake of relying on your unreliable older sister. People like her who are habitually late don't usually make dramatic positive changes to their lack of punctuality even with encouragement or threats.
Habitual tardiness is usually triggered by disorganization. You can try to help your sister out in this regard, but don't expect immediate positive results.
I suggest that you arrange alternate transportation to your school. Imagine that your older sister was a freshman at a college far away from your town. How would you then get to school each day? Perhaps a friend of yours who gets a ride to school may have parents who would be willing to drive you if you walked over to their home to make it easy for them.
Perhaps you can take a bus, walk or find some sort of public transportation. But in the end, you are responsible for arriving at your first class on time, so create a system that works for you. If your sister can't leave by some fixed time you need to comfortably arrive on time, then simply don't count on her and don't allow her bad habit to become yours.
SHE HAS NO TIME FOR HER GOOD FRIEND ANYMORE
DR. WALLACE: My best friend of nine years has fallen head over heels in love with a guy at our high school. They met in early January, and here we are in late February and for nearly the past two months, she's virtually ignored me completely! I've only spoken to her twice during that time for a grand total of about five minutes! The last time we spoke, she cut the conversation short as she said he just came into the room and she had to go.
I find this surprising since we both vowed years ago to never let a guy come between us, but somehow this guy has done just that. What's worse for me is that we girls are both heading off to different colleges this fall, and we had planned to make our senior year together really special in terms of our friendship.
Now she's out of my orbit and I'm left alone for a few months, and I fear that our friendship will fade away entirely if she stays with him through this summer. — Feeling Unfriended, via email
FEELING UNFRIENDED: It's sad that your friend can't seem to find at least a bit of a balance of her time for her good friend of nine years, but as you're learning the hard way, it's really tough to fight the power of romance.
It could be that she'll eventually come to senses as to communicating with you, so in the meantime, don't do anything rash even though you're truly and rightfully frustrated.
Nine years is a long time, and the basis for a really solid friendship. Hold out some hope loosely, but don't expect a big change just yet. She's obviously infatuated with him, and for the time being, she's planning on spending every second with him that she can.
Use your extra free time to reach out to some of your other friends and take part in any activities or hobbies that you previously never seemed to have to participate in. And when you least expect it, your friend may double back to your friendship and apologize for being so indisposed for so long.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Laura Rivera at Unsplash
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