DR. WALLACE: I'm a responsible girl who is nearly 17 and 1/2 years old. My parents split up when I was 11, so when the topic of dating came up in my life, it's been my mother who has been the one I have to answer to since I live full time with her.

Well, my father just moved back into our area after living out of state for several years. He never came to visit me all the time he was gone, but he did call me on the phone from time to time and he would mail me a birthday card every year with a check enclosed. He always included a note that said he wanted me to take that money and buy myself something that I wanted since he didn't know what to get me.

He also remarried two years ago, and I'd never met his new wife until last weekend. She seems nice enough, but of course I don't know anything about her personality or character at all. My problem now is that my father started asking me very personal questions about my dating life! He also found out what "rules" my mom has and he didn't like some of them, so he told me that from now on I must abide by his rules instead of my mother's slightly more lenient rules.

Without getting into a complicated explanation about the specific details of the rules, let me just say that I'm a good person and I have not caused any problems for my mom nor broken any of her rules. This issue has now caused new tension where I felt there should be none! I would have thought that my father would have been happy to see me and fit into my life again, but apparently his desired "rules" are more important to him than I am. — His Priorities Shock Me, via email

HIS PRIORITIES SHOCK ME: If you were living under your father's roof, then I'd say he would be in a much better position to dole out rules to you. But since you have lived with your mother exclusively in her home and followed her dating rules perfectly, I see no reason for you to be forced into any changes.

I advise you to speak with your mother about this (if she's not already aware) and mention to her that on top of the fact that you've followed her rules exactly, you will soon turn 18 years old and be an adult in just over six months anyway. For these reasons, I believe that both morally and ethically, you should feel comfortable sticking with your mother's dating rules exclusively at this point in your life.

However, when your father learns that "his" rules are not going to be implemented, don't hide from him. Make it a point to give him a big hug the next time you see him and tell him that, this one issue aside, you're looking forward to getting to know him again and to spending time with him and his new wife. This is important because he will always be your father, and my advice is to move past this one sticking point and focus on socializing with him and his new wife as long as they remain friendly and civilized toward you, which I believe they will.

And if needed, you can always remind your father that you'll be a legal adult soon anyway and that you wish to have a great adult, familial relationship with him for the rest of your lives.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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