DR. WALLACE: My parents are busy professionals who both work and are successful in their jobs. They're good parents; we live in a nice home, and they provide food and clothing for my two younger siblings and me.

However, my parents often complain to me about the type of music I listen to and how it will become a bad influence upon my future behavior.

But so far there has been no bad influence at all! I don't take drugs, I don't try to consume alcohol and I've never been in trouble. In fact, I'm an excellent student who gets good grades.

My parents spend a lot of their free time at home drinking, smoking and watching movies. I've often told them that secondhand smoke is bad for the three of us who don't smoke, but all they ever tell us to do is leave a few windows open.

How can I get my parents to understand that the type of music I listen to is not going to impact my daily life? It seems to me like they have many more vices than I do. — Good Student, via email

GOOD STUDENT: Do your best to redirect the attention of your parents onto your performance rather than the type of music you prefer.

Remind them of the grades that you get and point out to them that you have no desire to get into any trouble of any kind regarding substances of any sort. Get them both to admit verbally that you've had an excellent track record so far in your life.

As to your preferred music, do your best to listen to it on your headphones or earbuds when your parents are close enough to hear it otherwise. There's no need to unnecessarily expose them to your music.

SHOULD I SAY ANYTHING?

DR. WALLACE: I'm adopted and the family that adopted me has two children of their own. I'm the only one that is not biologically related to the group.

Both my parents and my brother and sister treat me well, but I'll admit there are times I feel like the odd person out.

They all look pretty much alike and although I don't look too different from them, I do look different enough that it's pretty obvious I'm not their biological child.

Should I say anything to my parents about this or just keep it to myself since they might not want to hear it anyway? By the way, I'm a 16-year-old girl and I was adopted at age 3. — Feeling Left Out, via email

FEELING LEFT OUT: Yes, I would recommend that you speak to your parents about this rather than keeping it all bottled up inside.

They adopted you and have raised you and no doubt they love you very much. You should have exactly the same access to speaking to your parents about things that concern you as much as either of your siblings would. Trust me, your parents want what is best for you, so voicing these concerns will go a long way to helping you ease these doubts that occasionally run through your mind.

Communication within families is always very important, so plan ahead now to err on the side of communicating too much rather than too little. Your parents can only know about this issue and help you if you bring it to their attention.

I trust they will have a good conversation with you that will leave you feeling much better by the time it concludes.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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