DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl who got into a lot of trouble over the past two years when I was living in the Pacific Northwest area of our country. My parents were very upset with my behavior, and I actually got arrested and spent time in juvenile hall because of my transgressions.

Looking back now, I realize that my bad decisions and extremely poor actions were driven by a desire to fit in with my boyfriend at the time. He was engaged in many illegal activities and took all kinds of drugs regularly.

Hanging out with him finally caught up with me, and I paid a steep price for my actions. My parents are quite upset and they're actually sending me now to live with one of my aunts in Texas. I'll start school there in late February, and I'm hoping I can leave my past behind and seek out a fresh start in this new state. I've never even visited Texas, much less lived there.

I'm nervous but also thankful that I have this opportunity. How can I best seek to turn my life around with this second chance? I also hope that nobody in Texas will find out about my past, since that is a chapter of my life I would sure like to forget. — Want to Use My Fresh Start well, via email

WANT TO USE MY FRESH START WELL: First of all, please realize that we are all human and we make mistakes, even though some mistakes are larger than others. It's a great sign that you're seeking to leave your past behind you and not to repeat the mistakes you have made previously.

Start by forgiving yourself. It's important that you reestablish a positive self-image going forward. In your mind, seek to separate the current you from the past version of yourself. The best way to do this is to take empowering positive steps forward slowly and gradually and build new routines that make you proud of yourself.

Tell yourself regularly that you are a good person and are going to make good choices from now on. Seek to find new friends at your new school who share common interests with you and who are exhibiting values and character traits that you respect. Who you choose to spend your time with has a great influence on your daily actions and activities, so choose well.

Be respectful of your aunt and her household at all times. Follow the rules, thank her for giving you this fresh start and do all that you can to build a positive, mature relationship with her. Involve her in your life by introducing your new friends to her and talking openly about new things in your life both large and small. The more you keep yourself open and accountable, the easier it will be for you to maintain positive momentum in key areas of your life.

I'd say you are a lucky teenager to have this opportunity, so I encourage you to embrace it and savor the daily difference your new life provides you in comparison to the misery your formal life caused you.

SHE ALWAYS CORRECTS MY GRAMMAR

DR. WALLACE: How should I respond when my sister-in-law always corrects my grammar? I'm two years younger than she is and I am a senior in high school. She attends a local college and thinks she's really smart.

Most of the time she's all right to deal with, but this one issue bothers me a lot. She's not rude when she corrects me, but she does so instantly, and at times I find it really embarrassing. What can I do about this? — Always Being Corrected, via email

ALWAYS BEING CORRECTED: On the one hand, she's actually doing you a favor because maintaining proper grammar is a good thing, but on the other hand, she does not need to go out of her way to embarrass you, whether she realizes it or not.

And tell her that you do appreciate learning proper grammar but that you would prefer not to be corrected in real time in front of other people. I'm sure she can understand, and perhaps the two of you could work out some sort of silent signals.

For example, if you make a grammatical error, she could scratch her nose or push her hair behind one of her ears while looking at you. This will give you the option of self-correcting in real-time or of being prepared to use the correct grammatical context the next time. With repetition, I trust you will absorb her insights and be able to use them to your personal betterment.

Perhaps the two of you can have a good laugh about this in private later, and I suggest that you also find an area that you have better skills with than she does in order to reciprocate a favor for her. Perhaps you have a better sense of fashion than she does, and instead of telling her better accessories don't match her outfit in real time in front of others, you privately make your suggestions at a time and place where only she can hear them!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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