DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is presently a junior in high school, and the boyfriend I dated for over a year is currently off at college out of state. He's about 1,000 miles away from our hometown here in the middle of America.

When he went off to college, he told me that we would always be together in spirit, and he even encouraged me to attend the same college he's currently at once I graduate high school in a year and a half.

But now that he's out of town, he's been out of touch with me quite a bit. He doesn't return my telephone calls or text messages very promptly at all, and it seems like he's extremely busy with his new college life. I feel so alone as I have not dated any other guys this entire school year. Now I'm wondering if this might be a mistake on my part. Do you feel I should wait another year and a half or so and try to attend the same college my high school sweetheart is now attending? — Feeling abandoned, via email

FEELING ABANDONED: I feel it's unrealistic to think that he would not be dating any girls in his new college town; therefore, I suggest you do the same in your hometown. There's no reason why each of you cannot date during the next year and a half and then evaluate where your lives are at any given point during this process.

Your letter did not mention whether he comes back to your hometown in the summertime, and if by chance he does, I would suggest that the two of you meet for lunch as soon as he's in town to have an open discussion about your current status, your past relationship and any future prospects the two of you might wish to consider someday.

In the end, however, I advise you to absolutely enjoy your social life during your last year plus of high school, including dating a few guys you enjoy hanging out with. If you and your former high school boyfriend are meant to be together, there's still plenty of time in each of your futures for that to happen, no matter who the two of you date in the meantime while you are so far apart from each other geographically.

I WITNESSED MILD CORPORAL PUNISHMENT

DR. WALLACE: I babysit two children about twice a week in our neighborhood. I'm 16 and a pretty responsible teenager, so the mom I work for is very comfortable having me as her regular babysitter.

It's great that she has a lot of confidence in me, but there's one thing about her that has worried me a couple of times when I've come over early to start a babysitting shift. I've noticed that she has been lightly spanking her 5-year-old on the rump a time or two in an effort to correct his behavior. I personally would never spank a child, and I found it quite shocking to see this mother stoop to physical punishment of her child.

Do you think I should say anything directly to her about this? After all, they are her kids, not mine, so I'm worried that if I say anything she might snap back at me. — Surprised to see corporal punishment, via email

SURPRISED TO SEE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT: I agree with you that corporal punishment is not a useful or effective tool for punishing children or trying to adjust their behavior.

However, as you mentioned, they are her children, so you do not have any say in how she elects to discipline her children. Your letter mentioned a light swat or two on the rump, and only you know specifically what you saw. If you do not notice any bruises or marks on either of these children, then it is likely that this mother only uses the light rump swatting to get the child's attention, not to inflict pain.

You are indeed in a delicate position, and I advise you to keep a very close eye out for the children's well-being and overall health. If you do wish to open a dialogue with her, ask her if it's all right for you to issue a timeout to either child if that child is misbehaving on one of your shifts. This may also give her a hint to consider using timeouts herself, rather than light rump swats.

I also advise that you discuss this matter with your parents, so that they can be aware of this situation and so they can also advise you of what they think about it. It's also good for other adults to be able to keep an eye on the situation, at least vicariously, to back you up.

I commend you for writing in and speaking up about this matter. Child safety and welfare is a topic of paramount importance to everyone, so please keep a close eye on the situation and keep your parents fully informed about everything you see and hear about while working with these children.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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