DR. WALLACE: My best friend and I are unhappy at home and at school, and we are talking about running away. We are both 16 years old. She has a former boyfriend who is 18, and he said that we could stay at his apartment if we want. He is living in Miami, Florida, and he has a good job. He also said he can get us jobs once we're in Miami. Both my friend and I are going to be 17 in two months, and that's when we would leave Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
My friend's mom won't care if her daughter takes off, but my overly strict parents will lose their minds. How long do we have to be gone from home before we are classified as runaways? Can we be considered runaways at age 18? — Anonymous, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
ANONYMOUS: Running away from home is never the right move! Running away almost always compounds the problems facing a teen. If problems can't be solved within the family, outside assistance from the school, religious organizations or community agencies is readily available.
A young person under the age of 18 is considered to be a runaway if he or she is away from home without permission. If you and your friend should run away and make it to your friend's house, he would be committing a crime if he sheltered you and your friend knowing that you are away from home without your parents' blessing.
One of the major problems facing runaways is lack of money. This can cause a teen to do things he or she wouldn't normally do to earn funds. Many of these things are illegal or morally unacceptable. If you feel that you must stop living with your parents, wait until you are 18 and have earned a high school diploma.
A BOYFRIEND WITH 'CRIMINAL DNA'
DR. WALLACE: I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year. He lives alone with his mother. His parents are divorced, and he has not seen his father in over two years. Yesterday, I was talking with his cousin and asked her where my boyfriend's father was. She told me that he lives in another state and that my boyfriend's parents divorced because his father had robbed a bank about 15 years ago, and he just recently got out of prison.
I told my mother about this, and she said that the father must have been a criminal all his life, as "No reasonable person robs a bank." My mom said it is possible that my boyfriend may, too, become a criminal when he is older because his father was one and they share "criminal DNA." Is this correct? Anonymous, Reno, Nevada
ANONYMOUS: I'm not an authority on the subject, but my research shows that criminal behavior is not an inherited trait. Each individual develops his or her own character and moral compass. Yes, there are times that an individual may be influenced by a criminal parent, but that has nothing at all to do with DNA.
Your mother wants to protect you and likely means well, but she is sure conjuring up a lot of unscientific conjecture with her comments on this matter. Furthermore, if your boyfriend's father actually was arrested about 15 years ago, your boyfriend would have been but a toddler back then. I trust you are safe to assume your boyfriend has exactly the same character he has demonstrated to you over the entire course of your relationship — and that he does not possess some sinister sort of "criminal DNA."
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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