DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and I have a pen pal (a girl) who lives in Scotland. I got her name from a teacher and we have been writing to each other for about six months. I really enjoy writing to Daphne, and receiving her letters.

My problem is that my mother doesn't have anything to do all day except watch soap operas and eat potato chips. That's why she opens and reads the mail addressed to me, including the letters from my pen pal.

I keep telling my mother that she shouldn't be reading my mail without first asking for my permission. I'm not happy getting Daphne's letters already opened and smothered with potato ship grease. When I complain, all I hear is that she is the boss and can read my mail any time she pleases. This might be true, but it doesn't make it right. My mother isn't checking up on me when she opens my letters; she is just plain nosy. Help! — Margo, Tacoma, Wash.

MARGO: Your mom is jeopardizing the bond of trust without which family life is impossible. Unless there's some breach in the trust, a parent should not open a child's mail or otherwise engage in unwarranted snooping. Young people need privacy just as much as adults.

It may be there are issues in your mom's life that she's masking with her angry assertion that she's the boss and can do what she wants. If your letter is accurate, it sounds to me like she needs to get a life; right now she seems to be borrowing yours.

I'M IN FAVOR OF YOU VISITING YOUR NAVY BOYFRIEND

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and my boyfriend graduated last year and is now in the Navy, stationed in San Diego. In four weeks he will be on a ship that will be at sea for more than three months.

Pete wants me to come to San Diego for the weekend before he ships out. I live in San Bernardino, which is only about an hour's drive from there, and I have my own car. I wouldn't miss any school time and I wouldn't be spending much money because I would be staying at my aunt's house. She lives only about 15 minutes from where Pete is stationed.

My parents are not so sure they want me to go, but they are leaving the decision up to me. My mom suggested that I write to you for your opinion. - Nameless, San Bernardino, Calif.

NAMELESS: Because you will be staying with a relative, I'm in favor of having you visit Pete before he ships out. Knowing that you will be staying with an aunt should satisfy your parents that you will be well taken care of during your visit.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.