DR. WALLACE: Our 18-year-old daughter will be entering college next fall. We are concerned about the amount of drugs and alcohol that are used by today's college students. Our daughter is not involved in any of these addictive activities now. However, we are positive she will be encouraged to partake in nefarious activities that she has never done before when she goes to college.

How widespread and serious is the drug and alcohol participation on college and university campuses? Do you have any accurate statistics? — Parents, Cheyenne, Wyo.

PARENTS: You've raised your daughter well. Now you need to have faith that her high moral standards are a part of her, not merely cosmetic, and will be her companion as she leaves the nest and starts taking college classes.

Yes, there is a significant amount of drug and alcohol experimentation on the nation's college campuses. How widespread is it? In a survey of 1,000 college students around the country, conducted by the University of Michigan, 92 percent said they had consumed at least one alcoholic drink in the past year, 42 percent said they had smoked marijuana at least once and 17 percent admitted having experimented with cocaine at least once.

These statistics do not mean that students are shunning their studies in favor of booze, pot and coke binges. But they do indicate that most students experiment at some point with alcohol and drugs. "Most," however, does not mean "all." Many top students on campuses are alcohol-and drug-free. I'm sure your daughter will be one of them.

YOUR SON NEEDS THE LOVE OF HIS PARENTS

DR. WALLACE: My husband and our son had a big argument about a year ago. It wound up with my husband telling our son if he didn't like it in our house, he could move. The very next day, Matthew, then 17, moved into his friend's parents' house. He took all of his clothes, but left the rest of his things in his room.

Since the day he left, we have had no contact whatsoever with him. On his 18th birthday I wanted to call Matthew, but my husband asked me not to. Yesterday, my husband said he was going to give all of Matthew's things to the Salvation Army. I told him I didn't think he should do that. Then I told him I really missed our son and thought we should see him and patch up the relationship. My husband disagreed. He said that Matthew left the house of his own free will, so it's his responsibility to initiate "peace talks."

Please tell me what your opinion is about this situation. — Mother, Houston, Tex.

MOTHER: A year is long enough to have no contact whatsoever with your teenage son. Whatever the argument was about that caused him to leave is now secondary to getting him back into your life. Don't wait for Matthew to initiate the contact. You and your husband should be the ones to open the lines of communication immediately!

Giving a child the silent treatment is often regarded as a form of abandonment and is a serious flaw in a family. It's the parents' responsibility to see that it doesn't occur. Your husband's stubbornness stems from a bruised ego, but it's time for him to be bigger than his hurt feelings and say, "I love you, son!" Then the healing can begin.

Your son needs the love of his parents as much as or more than you need his love.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Jim Larrison