DR. WALLACE: A so-called "nerd" has asked me to our winter formal at school. I really want to go, but I'm not so sure I want to be seen going with a nerd. If some other guy would ask me, I'd go with him, but I'm not sure anyone will ask me. That's because most of the popular cute guys are dating popular cute girls. I'm not popular, but I'm definitely not a geek either. What should I do? — Nameless, Minneapolis, Minn.
NAMELESS: Stop using labels — "nerds," "popular," "geeks" — and start judging people by their character. You would like to attend the winter formal. A boy has asked you to go with him. My advice is, tell him yes! And when you go, don't slink in the corner, embarrassed to be seen with this guy. Doing so would ruin the evening, and be degrading, for him as well as for you.
Go to this special dance with the full intention of having a great time and enjoying your date's companionship. (This is also exactly what he is expecting for this date.) If you do this, you may learn something about who this boy really is, and my guess is that you'll be pleasantly surprised.
IQ TESTS ARE FALLIBLE
DR. WALLACE: We are required at our school to take IQ tests. I know it measures a person's intelligence, and a score over 100 is supposed to be good. Is there anything else you can tell me regarding this test? — Jenny, Davenport, Iowa.
JENNY: IQ (intelligence quotient) tests attempt to measure learning capacity.
Things like reading comprehension, vocabulary skills and even social interactions are tabulated. The average IQ score is said to be 100, which means the number of people who score 99 and below on the test is expected to be roughly the same as the number who score 101 and above. Some people feel this is a controversial test.
Because IQ tests are fallible (meaning they may not always be totally accurate), documented problems, such as cultural bias, throw their accuracy into question. Therefore, some schools do not administer them. Furthermore, a test taker's state of physical or emotional health on the day of the test may also skew the result significantly.
SEEK LEGAL ASSISTANCE
DR. WALLACE: I'll soon be 21. I'm a single woman and I don't even think that I will be married or have children of my own. Still, I would very much like to be a mother by adopting a baby.
A friend, who is not married and eight months pregnant, says she would like for me to have this child because she feels I would make a better mother than she would. She is not looking forward to being a mother. Is it possible for a single person to adopt a baby like this? I need to know all the facts about the situation.
I will be inheriting a large sum of money from my grandfather's estate the day I turn 21 and I am planning to invest the money wisely. I have a good job as a legal secretary and will have no problem providing for the child. My mother has volunteered to care for the baby while I'm working. What do you think of my situation and do you see any possible problems that could arise? — Nameless, Las Vegas, Nev.
NAMELESS: A mother cannot just "give away" her baby; the transfer of custody of a child is a legal procedure. However, in certain cases, it is possible for a single adult to be awarded a child through adoption.
The first thing that you need to do is to seek the assistance of an attorney, preferably one who specializes in adoption. This person will know all the legal options in your state and will advise you of your rights as well as the rights of the birthmother and the baby.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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