DR. WALLACE: I have a 13-year-old daughter and a son who will enter the teen years in two months. I have been both father and mother to them ever since my children's father deserted us over seven years ago. He went to Mexico to visit his mother and never returned. His brother said that he is now married and has three young children.

As you can see, I will receive no help from him to help me guide our children through the teen years. I must do it alone. The teen years can be a very difficult time, so I will need all the good advice I can get to help me raise two caring, law-aiding and happy teens. Any suggestions will be deeply appreciated. — Olivia, McAllen, Tex.

OLIVIA: Parenting is the most rewarding job on earth, probably because it's also the toughest. And the teen years are toughest of all, but your determination to succeed at your role tells me that your son and daughter will make you a very proud mother.

An article in Careers and Colleges Magazine titled "Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy?" might help you immeasurably. It offers 10 Useful Tips for Parents for creating a happy home life, from teenagers themselves:

1. Don't label me. When you compare me to someone else and say, "I'm the artist and he's the athlete," it makes us both feel inadequate.

2. Don't minimize my troubles. If I'm brokenhearted, don't talk to me about puppy love and other fish in the sea. Just listen and try to understand how I'm feeling.

3. Give me a compliment. I know you hate my hair - but praise me on something. I'd like to hear that you're proud of my varsity letters or good grades.

4. Play fair. If you had a bad day at work, don't take it out on me. (And if I'm nervous about a test or a date, I'll try not to be crabby to you.)

5. Don't invade my privacy. Treat me with more respect, and I'll do the same.

6. Don't embarrass me in front of my friends. I'd rather you save your comments — good or bad — for when we're alone.

7. Spend time with me. Invite me to go out to breakfast or to the movies with you. I just might say yes.

8. Give me information — even if I roll my eyes.

9. Choose your grievance. Instead of fighting over everything (my room, clothes, music) pick one thing.

10. Start letting go. Families should provide roots and wings, and besides, you don't want me living here when I'm 30, do you?

I'm Catholic, She's Protestant

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and the girl I was dating is 15. Her father ended our relationship because I'm Catholic and she's Protestant. I told him I'd change my religion to hers if he would allow me to continue seeing his daughter. But he said, "No way."

Is there any way I can get her father to change his mind? I'm in love with his daughter and she loves me, too. We are both suffering because of his narrow-minded decision. What can I do to rescue our romance? — Kyle, Erie, Pa.

KYLE: I doubt seriously that there is anything you can do to cause her father to change his mind. It's quite possible your age is more of a hindrance than your religion. This girl is actually at an age that many parents regard as too young to be dating.

I urge you to forget about her and suggest that you start looking for girls 17 or older to share time with.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Mads Bødker