DR. WALLACE: I'm a male high school student, and I've had a girlfriend for the past six months. In the last couple of months, a few situations have come up in her life that have caused her to be tremendously emotional. She discussed these matters with me in depth, and I didn't see things the way that she did. What I'm saying is that I felt they were too small and trivial of matters to become so emotional about! There are things in life to be tremendously emotional about, and what she was dealing with or the perceived slights she was navigating didn't rise to what I considered to be emotionally challenging.

Unfortunately, I let her know too much about my opinion, and she got mad at me and headed home shortly after our conversation fell apart. Several days passed, and finally I got a text from her telling me that she did feel I was a bit harsh with her but that she could have reacted better than walking out on me that day.

We patched things up for now, but I'm wondering, can we be a good match for the long term since we see things so differently? — I Was Surprised by Her Reactions, via email

I WAS SURPRISED BY HER REACTIONS: To start with, there will always be differences in perspectives on many topics when it comes to men and women, as they often vary widely in some instances. At least you learned from this experience, and you saw that your approach brought about a negative reaction.

To her credit, she reached out to you and took some of the responsibility for the challenges you both faced that day. Therefore, I feel it's far too early to give up on this relationship simply because you had opposite perspectives on a particular topic on a particular day.

Learn from this experience, be more diplomatic in your conversations with your significant other, and give the relationship an opportunity to take its natural course one way or the other. Remember, no two individuals are going to see everything from the identical point of view, so part of the art of a successful relationship is providing space, accommodation and a nonjudgmental attitude toward each other.

I NEED A SOLITUDE BREAK EVERY DAY TO REMAIN PRODUCTIVE

DR. WALLACE: I'm a second-year college student with an extremely busy schedule. My boyfriend and I are both pursuing quite challenging professions that require a lot of study and effort to succeed at. We both put in long hours each day studying, attending classes and working part-time jobs around our curriculum.

He's the type that can go 100 miles per hour for 18 hours a day. I can also put my nose to the grindstone for long periods of time, but I absolutely crave — and even need — intervals of solitude. Typically, I'll take a leisurely walk somewhere or even find a convenient park bench to sit at and just relax for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. During these breaks, I focus only on the surroundings in front of me, the weather or pleasant things I enjoy thinking about. I absolutely do not think about work, class projects or any other things I need to get done each day. My boyfriend thinks I'm wasting 30 minutes each day, but I know intuitively these breaks are what make me productive the rest of the day. I tried to get him to sit with me a couple of times, but he couldn't stop fidgeting or talking to me directly. It didn't work for me, because I need silence and solitude! There are times when he gets upset because he wants to have a quick lunch with me but I had planned that time to be alone. Am I being selfish here? — A Girl Who Craves Solitude, via email

A GIRL WHO CRAVES SOLITUDE: Absolutely not! I don't see your actions as selfish at all. In fact, I would view his complaints directed toward you to be more selfish than you craving a break to refresh yourself mentally during your stress-filled days.

Everyone should have a routine that works best for them, and you've carved out a game plan that obviously works well for you. Do your best to stay flexible as to when you take your solitude breaks, but do not feel that you have to bend to his wishes 100% of the time. Relationships are two-way streets, and each party should be not only cognizant of this but extremely accommodative to one another, especially with very reasonable requests such as your solitude breaks.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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