DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who's a sophomore in high school and I've got four pretty good, close friends. All five of us guys have a lot in common and get along well with each other. However, I've noticed something very interesting, especially over the past month. I'm finding that when I'm having one-on-one conversations with any of these four friends, there are two I enjoy talking with far more than the other two!

The best way I can explain this is that our conversations are far more interesting and in-depth, whereas the other two are extremely nice friends, but the conversations tend to be more basic, routine, and shall I say, sophomoric.

Am I wrong to consciously realize that I'm noticing a difference in the way I view each of these individuals? I intend to remain close friends with all of them, but I'm already noticing that I truly enjoy spending time with two of them more than the other two. — Not Sure How to Feel About This, via email

NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS: There's absolutely nothing wrong with you making this observation, and your intentions and plans are congruent with remaining good friends with all of them. You shouldn't feel down about yourself for having made this realization.

Think of it this way: When a young man gets married, he typically has a "best man" stand up for him at his wedding, for example. It's entirely logical that at some point you'll gravitate towards one best friend in life, or perhaps two, whether this ends up being one or more of your current friends or someone else that you meet in the future.

I advise that you enjoy all of your friendships and the good times you share, but to continue savoring and relishing the conversations you find the most interesting and certainly continue to foster those interactions. It's entirely normal to relate to some people on a deeper level than you will others, not only at this point in your life, but over the decades to come.

I SOMETIMES SHUT DOWN AND PULL BACK SUDDENLY

DR. WALLACE: Some days at my school, I'll go from being my normal "happy go lucky" personality to feeling quite withdrawn, almost on the drop of a hat. This happens especially when I overhear a conversation about me that makes me emotionally sensitive, even if the comment was not intended to be disparaging or put me down in any way. But when I hear a comment that makes me feel slightly less about myself, I kind of feel like a turtle that wants to retreat into its shell.

Sometimes these comments will be made casually to me in conversations, one-on-one, or even in a small group of friends. I know they are not mean-spirited, but they still bother me. I'm very proud of all the positive things I have going for me in my life, but for some reason, when I hear a comment that's even slightly negative, or could be construed to be viewed in that light, I feel like retreating from others immediately. Is there anything I can do about this? — I Don't Take Critical Comments Well, via email

I DON'T TAKE CRITICAL COMMENTS WELL: In lieu of hearing the specifics about exactly what you're referring to, I'll take an educated guess that you may feel uncomfortable whenever you hear a comment regarding your present limitations, previous actions or your availability or lack thereof to participate in various functions with others.

We all must realize that we are not perfect, and we won't react perfectly in front of everyone in all situations, nor will we present ourselves perfectly at all times. The good news is that this goes far beyond you and applies to literally every person walking the planet.

Keeping this in mind, reassure yourself about all of the excellent points, attributes and character strengths you possess. Realize that the positive ones far, far outweigh any shortcomings you may experience from time to time.

The next time you feel such an urge to withdraw coming over you, project your mind to some great times, great accomplishments or great attributes you know in your heart and soul that you possess. Think of this as giving yourself a mental workout, just as you would experience a physical workout like hiking, running or working out in the gym. Exercising your mind with repetitions to bolster your self-esteem is one of the most valuable things you can do consistently. Give it a try, I trust you'll find it easier to do than you might anticipate, and if you can develop it into a habit, it will definitely help you greatly going forward.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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