DR. WALLACE: Why do parents sometimes make promises to their teenagers that they know in advance they have no intention of keeping?

My parents got married 14 years ago, and part of their marriage vows said that they would be married forever. They made a promise in front of God and their families that they would do this.

My parents just made an announcement over the holidays that they are getting a divorce. Needless to say, this is the shock of my life, and I just don't know how I will ever get over it. My two younger sisters now cry all day, and my little brother is walking around the house silently like a zombie.

I asked my mom yesterday about keeping her vows, and all she told me was that she knew this day might come someday. She kept mumbling, "I married your father to do the right thing for you," since she was already pregnant with me when they agreed to marry. My parents have broken some other smaller promises over the years, but this one is devastating to our family.

I'm super upset, and now I don't have any faith in any adults at all anymore. It's like they are just big, overweight teens who do what they want without any regard for others. — Beyond Disappointed, via email

BEYOND DISAPPOINTED: I'm so sorry that your parents' marriage is ending. As a child, I'm sure you never saw this coming. Breakups are hard on everyone, especially young children, but you will survive and even thrive over time. I know you are going through a traumatic experience, but remember that your parents are experiencing their share of trauma, too. It's never easy on any parent to break up a marriage when children are involved.

I suggest you and your family get therapy and/or counseling wherever you can so you can better deal with the loss of your core family unit.

There are several resources available for this in today's world, and you can start by asking for help at your school. There they can assist you and direct you toward resources that may make a very big difference for you in your life. Stick close to your younger siblings the best you can to help them, too. As the eldest child, your calm voice and reassurances will go a long way to helping them remain positive and hopeful for the future. Hang in there, and do your best to set a good example, but definitely get yourself the help and guidance you will need.

MY BEST FRIEND IS MOVING!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 12 years old and have a huge problem because my best friend in the world is moving out of our state after the holidays.

Every time I think about this, I get overwhelmed with emotion and start to cry. I know you're going to tell me to get involved with activities, find other friends and so forth, but this won't help me right now.

It's easy to say that over time I'll be fine, but right now, I find this to be impossible to do. We girls are like sisters!

I'm going to miss my friend so much I can't even bear the thought of her leaving town. Help! — Heartbroken Friend, via email

HEARTBROKEN FRIEND: Indeed, this is a very unhappy situation that you are in. I do understand how you feel. Before your friend moves, set up a plan so you can interact with her as much as possible via FaceTime, texting, email and other platforms.

Your friend will be busy with her new surroundings and adjusting to her new living arrangement for a while, but she is going to be homesick for her old hometown and friends like you, too. It's important that you be there to support her and encourage her.

She will have a lot of news to share with you. Maybe you can plan to see her during the summer vacation or another holiday time. To help each of you deal with the mental strain of your physical separation, reassure each other that you'll be lifelong friends over many decades in the future. At some point, you'll both turn 18, 21 and so forth. Your paths may cross with future schooling, perhaps at a college or vocational school. You might find employment opportunities at some point in the same city someday.

Use these thoughts to keep each other calm, and do your best to keep your strong friendship alive while she lives in another state. After all, you girls are lucky to be living in this modern era where it's so easy to keep in touch with each other! Back in my day, long-distance telephone calls were quite expensive, so writing letters was the only way to communicate! You now have a plethora of options to keep in contact with her via social media, smartphones, videoconferencing, texts and emails. Make the most of it!

And, of course, I do suggest that you keep yourself busy by enjoying activities with other friends in your community. This will keep your mind occupied and provide an excellent opportunity to make new friends.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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