DR. WALLACE: I'm writing in response to the letter from the 13-year-old girl who wanted to know if she should move in with a married sister because her mom was hateful and unloving. Her mom constantly made her feel bad because she claimed it was her fault that her marriage had failed. I want to thank you for telling her to move to her sister's home where her sister was hoping to give her a better life and had been encouraging her to move in with her family.

I'm 65 years old and my mom is 86. I'm her primary care giver and she is nice to me now, but my earliest memory of my mother was when she told me that her life would have been much better if I had never been born and she even told me I was an overgrown ox. I was always the tallest girl in my class and usually also taller than all the boys.

My grandparents were always kind and loving toward me and had even suggested that I live with them because they had plenty of room and truly loved me. My mother was an unloving and unloved person and I was a total disappointment to her. Some women should never have been mothers. As the Good Book says, "Honor thy mother," but it doesn't say we have to like her. — Nameless, Harrisburg, Pa.

NAMELESS: It was terribly difficult for you to grow up with an unloving mother (thank goodness they are the rare exception!) However, I can tell from your letter that you have risen above your unhappy childhood and have become a compassionate, caring adult, bestowing love even on the mother who rejected you so long ago.

The big life loser was your mother, who failed to love her own child and stunted herself as a human being.

IT'S YOUR PARTY, AND YOU SET THE RULES

DR. WALLACE: I'm planning my 15th birthday party and I've sent invitations to 15 girls. Six of us usually do some fun things together and live near each other, but sometimes one girl (who is the least popular) is ignored and left out of some of our activities.

Now, two of these girls have said they didn't like the idea that I invited her, and said they might not come if she will be there. I like these girls and would like them to be at my party, but I would not feel good if I had to tell this girl she couldn't come. What do you think I should do? — Nameless, Pittsburg, Kans.

NAMELESS: It's your birthday and your party. You made out the guest list hoping all the girls would come. If some of them choose not to attend, that's their concern, or possibly their problem. Those who show up will have a wonderful time, and those who don't will miss out.

You did the right thing by inviting this girl. Don't even consider revoking her invitation. That would be cowardly and cruel. Your two snobbish friends are applying peer pressure to get their way. Don't have any part of it!

FRUIT SKINS PROVIDE NEEDED FIBER

DR. WALLACE: My parents eat a lot of fruit, but they always peel off the skin of fruit such as pears, apples, plums, apricots and peaches. They think the skin contains a lot of harmful chemicals. I like to eat the skin on my fruit, but I don't want to get sick. Is the skin safe? — Kenny, Little Rock, Ark.

KENNY: If properly rinsed (held under running cool water for 30 seconds), the skins are safe to eat and they provide needed fiber. An average-sized apple with the peel provides about five grams of fiber; half a cup of applesauce contains less than half that amount. Fiber is also important because it helps maintain normal body functions and may reduce the risk of cancer.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore