DR. WALLACE: I'm engaged to a wonderful fellow named Clarence. We are both high school graduates and we plan to be married this coming June. We both have jobs. I am a hairdresser and he works in his uncle's construction business. He is everything I ever dreamed of for when I marry and both of my parents love him, too. He has been a perfect boyfriend and I'm sure we are "the perfect couple" and my parents also agree.

The only thing that disturbs me right now is my grandmother's attitude. She lives with us and she is basically a nice person but she is often opinionated. She does not think I should marry this young man because of his name. She considers his name to be one only for a wimpy person, and that is what she says to me when my boyfriend calls: "Wimpy is on the phone for you."

So far, my boyfriend has never heard my grandmother make this unkind reference to him, but I worry that he might. I have spoken to my dad about his mother's attitude and he just dismissed it and told me not to worry about "the ramblings of an old lady." I've tried to talk to Grandma and let her know that I didn't like her to call my boyfriend "Wimpy," but she just told me that it's true and that "the truth hurts."

I'd like to call a family meeting and discuss this, but I'm not sure if that would be a good idea or not. What would you suggest? — Nameless, Kansas City, Mo.

NAMELESS: You need to find some way to get Grandma to quit making these remarks. And the best way is to bring the two of them together in a casual way and let her get to know him. Once she sees his good qualities, she may realize that her granddaughter is about to marry a really terrific guy.

It is possible that this will not work but it's worth a try. If she thinks making fun of his name is "telling the truth," she may not be on very firm ground mentally. If she doesn't show any positive change in her behavior, you should have the family meeting with your mom and dad and discuss how distressing and hurtful her comments are to you and get them to lay down the law to her.

You can't always be shielding your boyfriend from Grandma's remarks, so it may be necessary for you to warn your fiance that Grandma is a mean-spirited old lady that no one listens to any more.

IT'S POSSIBLE SHE IS NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO DATE

DR. WALLACE: I'd like to respond to the letter from the 16-year-old girl who came home an hour late from a date and the girl's father was so mad that he almost hit the guy when he walked her to the door.

My parents have taught me that I am responsible for my life and if I come home late I'm the one to blame, not my date. I'm 17 and I try to behave responsibly. If this girl breaks curfew on a regular basis, it's possible she isn't mature enough to be dating, regardless of her age. Unless the guy forced her against her will to stay out, he is not the one to blame. — Sasha, Walla Walla, Wash.

SASHA: The boy, if he's driving, has a responsibility to his date and her parents to see that she is safely home at the designated time. When both the girl and her date are conscientious, problems like this rarely occur.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: South African Tourism