DR. WALLACE: I'm a 15-year-old girl and I have an odd problem with my grandmother. She lives in another state and she loves to go to garage sales. She even finds some new clothing items once in a while that still have the price tags on them. However, most of them are used, and some of them are not my style. She knows my size and she often buys clothes for me and mails them to me. I've written to her a couple of times and asked her to stop sending me used clothing, but she continues to waste her time and money by mailing me this stuff.

How can I convince her to stop? I've even had my mom mention this to her when she makes her weekly call to my grandmother. But the clothes keep coming. — Nameless, Des Moines, Iowa.

NAMELESS: It's obvious that your grandmother enjoys shopping at garage sales (so do I) and she likes sending you some of her finds. Try not to be upset by her generosity. Simply thank Grandmother for her "treasures" when they arrive. Then look them over. There just might be something you would enjoy wearing! Donate everything else to the Salvation Army or some other worthy charity so they can be put to good use.

DON'T ALLOW HER TO CONTACT YOU

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and dated the same girl, age 18, for the past two years. About six months ago she broke off our relationship, and now she is dating a guy who is deeply involved with drugs. This really makes me feel terrible because she deserves so much more. I love this girl very much and it tears me apart to think that she is dating such a lowlife. This girl is very close to my sister and my family, but nothing seems to convince her to get rid of this guy. She tells others that she really wants me, but she continues to stay with him.

Whenever she has a bad day or has a major problem with her new boyfriend, she calls me for comfort and advice, yet she tells me to be happy and to go on with my life. She knows that my family and I love her very much and she knows that we will offer comfort and support.

What should I do? This has been dragging on much too long. — Nameless, Rock Island, Ill.

NAMELESS: You have been spending most of your time showing great concern for your ex-girlfriend instead of taking her advice to be happy and to get on with your life. You should do just that. Don't allow her to contact you when she has a problem. Your sister can offer all the comfort and advice necessary.

Start dating other girls and get active socially — immediately! If the time comes that she dumps this druggie friend of hers, you will be the first person to know. Then you can decide if you want to start seeing her again — if you are not too involved with "Alexi" or "Karen" or. ...

A DATE IS A PROMISE NOT TO BE BROKEN

DR. WALLACE: Please settle an argument for me. My boyfriend and I disagree on whether it is permissible to stand someone up when a definite date has been arranged. I say it's never OK for someone simply to not show up. He thinks there are legitimate times, besides death or unforeseeable catastrophe, when not showing up is OK. What do you say? — Rosa, Big Spring, Tex.

ROSA: I agree with you. Basic promises — and a date is a promise — are the building blocks of a relationship. A person who blows off dates simply can't be trusted. As far as I'm concerned, such behavior is unforgivable.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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