Dear Family Coach: My 15-year-old daughter attended a coed sleepover party last weekend at the home of one of her good friends. Before the party, I spoke with the parents of the host to discuss supervision. They assured me they would both be at the party. On the night of the party I was called in the middle of the night to pick up my daughter. Turns out most of the kids were drinking heavily during the party, and some ended up in the hospital. I'm so mad that these parents promised supervision and then allowed this type of behavior. How should I handle this with my daughter and those parents? — Furious Father

Dear Father: Wow, there are so many issues, I don't know where to start. I commend you for taking the appropriate steps to ensure there was proper supervision at the party. But I have to wonder why 15-year-olds need to have a coed sleepover. Teens are notoriously crafty when it comes to hiding drinking and finding secluded spots to explore sexually. Even if the parents were vigilant, could they really have supervised the large number of kids properly? The fact that they even allowed this kind of party makes me suspicious of them being more like friends to their child and less like parents.

I'd be curious about where the alcohol came from. Did the parents supply it? Did they know drinking was happening and turn the other way? Did they act responsibly once alcohol was discovered? If you feel there is more to the story and you have serious concerns that the parents were more involved, then I would notify the local authorities.

As for your daughter, I wouldn't punish her. You gave her permission to attend the party. What I would do, though, is talk to her about what happened. Make it clear you only want to learn about what happened so you both can figure out what went wrong. Give her instructions for what to do if she ever gets into a difficult situation. Tell her to call you no matter what time, no matter what the trouble. Hopefully she will feel that she can come to you as needed in the future.

Dear Family Coach: My 9-year-old daughter is extremely cranky in the morning. Waking her up used to bring us both such joy, but now I dread it. I constantly try and solve her morning emotional distress. Often, though, she says forcefully, "I'm fine!" I feel like she needs comforting, but I don't seem to be helping. How can I improve our mornings and help my daughter wake up excited to greet the day? — Tired Dad

Dear Tired: She's not a morning person. I'm not either. I don't need comforting in the morning. What I need is time to wake up. The best thing you can do is possibly leave her alone. Give her some space to slowly get to a point where she can be civil to the world.

Additionally, make sure she is well-rested. She should get 10 to 12 hours of sleep every night. If she isn't, that could be part of the problem. Since she struggles in the morning, have a structured bedtime and a morning routine. This will help her get to bed on time and have an easier time in the morning. Try to minimize what is required of her in the morning. That means making sure all homework is completed and put back in the backpack at night. Put shoes and socks by the door. Set out dishes and silverware, too. She can certainly take on these chores as well.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.