Dear Family Coach: I typically plan my son's birthday parties, but this year I am swamped at work and cannot give the task my full attention. I asked my husband to take over, and he happily accepted. The problem is, I am having trouble letting go. Even if my husband does a good job, I can tell it won't be good enough for me. Should I let him take care of it, or should I take over planning, despite feeling overwhelmed? — Stressed-Out Mom

Dear Stressed-Out: Congratulations on delegating. I'm sure it wasn't easy to ask your husband to take over. Unless he is completely inept, I bet he will find a way to plan a quality birthday party for your son. I'm guessing the issue isn't whether your husband can plan a party; it's whether the party will reflect your typical high standards. What will happen if the party doesn't have homemade snacks or the best decorations or the most incredible goody bags? I'll answer that one for you. Nothing. Your son and his friends will still have a great time. And you might even enjoy it more because you won't be stressed out.

In order to actually step back and have fun, you have to let go of the idea of perfection. Many moms feel they have to live up to incredibly high standards. Working moms sometimes feel it even more. When parents try to do too much, they end up not enjoying anything. Everything feels like work. So surrender the reigns and give your husband space to create in his way. Don't tell him what to do or criticize his choices. Let him be the partner you married.

Dear Family Coach: With all of his after-school activities, my son is exhausted by 8 o'clock. Instead of forcing him to complete his homework, we have typically saved the extra work for the morning. We all wake up on the early side, so this approach worked — until my son got to middle school. He is struggling to get his work done with this approach. When do you think it's best to complete homework? — Overworked

Dear Overworked: I wouldn't say there is one time that works for every child or family. But there are certainly considerations that can help figure it out. Many children have been on the go for 10 to 12 hours by the end of the day. They used their brains in school and then their bodies after school in sports and activities. By the time dinner rolls around they are like floppy dishrags. Unfortunately, that is often the only time left for homework. The issue with doing homework in the morning, even for an early bird, is that it might be impossible to know how much work there is and how much time is needed. So children simply run out of time before schools starts.

Try to have all homework done by the time your son goes to bed, including studying for exams. The amount of homework will intensify as he advances in school. Leaving it for the morning is a recipe for disaster. Choose one or two weekdays that he will not have after-school activities. These will be the days he can work on projects, catch up on reading and even have a little down time. This time will keep him going when the other days are long.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.