Dear Family Coach: My son is on a youth basketball team. His coach is the dad of one of the players on the team. He knows nothing about the sport, and has admitted that he is coaching so that he can stay close with his son after a divorce. I know a lot about basketball but I don't want to insult the coach. Should I let him be a clueless coach or should I get involved? — Basketball-Loving Dad

Dear Dad: This one is tricky. It certainly is admirable to see what this father is willing to do to stay close to his son. After a divorce, especially a particularly messy one, parents can feel alienated. Even the relationship of a close father-son duo can take a hit due to splitting time with an ex. I wouldn't want to do anything to disrupt that. Even if you're convinced your son is the next LeBron James, it would be nothing short of ruthless for you to tell this man he doesn't know what he's doing.

Having said that, the coach might be in over his head and looking for a little help. Before the next practice tell the coach you love the game and would be thrilled to help out in any way. Don't be the guy on the sidelines telling the coach what to do. Instead, respect him as the leader but offer ideas for drills and strategy when the possibility arises. If the coach isn't receptive, sit back and enjoy watching a man's devotion to his child. That can be more beautiful to watch than your kid making a free throw.

Dear Family Coach: I am the mother of two young children and a widow. It's been about two years since my husband died. A few months ago I started dating a wonderful man. When is it appropriate to introduce him to my children? — Happy Again Mom

Dear Happy: How wonderful that you've found happiness again. I do believe a happy parent is one of the keys to having happy children. However, it's important to note that your new love interest may not increase your children's happiness. Therefore, proceed with caution. Many excited parents rush to present their new partner because they simply can't contain their euphoria. But that is not a good enough reason to make the announcement.

Start by assessing how your children are handling the loss of their father. Do you, as a family, talk about him often? Your new beau is not a replacement dad for your children, even if he eventually takes on the role of stepfather. Often parents stop discussing a lost loved one because his/her absence is simply too painful. But this doesn't work for children.

Once your children know that there will never be a man who will replace Dad, introduce your new guy as a good friend. Don't initially invite him to every outing. Instead, take time to make sure the kids are adapting. Gradually increase the amount of time your partner is with the children. This may be disappointing for you, or hard since you probably want to be around him all the time. But having a good start to the relationship is incredibly important. Give your children time to get onboard. You don't get a second opportunity to make the first introduction, so it is worth it to take the time to do it right.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.