Dear Family Coach: I grew up playing basketball. It was a wonderful experience to be part of a team. My daughter is more interested in solo activities, such as ice skating and gymnastics. With regards to the social development of a child, what are your thoughts on individual activities vs. team-oriented activities? — Curious Dad

Dear Curious: The benefits of sports are far-reaching. Besides the obvious physical health benefits, playing sports improves mental health, academic success, self-esteem and even behavior. None of those benefits are dependent on being part of a team.

Team sports certainly foster teamwork, cooperation and leadership. And it's true that some of those outcomes may be lost when a child choses a more solitary sport. But individual sports have their own unique benefits. Kids who fence or ski or do taekwondo often build up intrinsic motivation, independence and self-sufficiency. Kids who compete alone learn to manage intense pressure and the spotlight completely on their own. Furthermore, many solo sports, like the two you mentioned, often have a team component. Athletes compete individually but their scores are aggregated for a team win. Often, athletes in individual sports train with other people. Thus these sports can also foster skills such as being supportive, managing competition and good sportsmanship.

Let your daughter play whatever sport she wishes. There are plenty of benefits to go around. The worst-case scenario would be for you to nudge her into a sport of your choosing only for her to become disinterested altogether. If she wants to ice skate or be a gymnast, let her.

Dear Family Coach: I have been trying very hard to make family dinners happen more frequently, but my 5-year-old is very difficult. Last night she only ate rice. Tonight she only ate carrots, and she fussed the whole meal. Help! — Tired of Meals Mom

Dear Mom: Meals with a picky eater are excruciating on several levels. It is impossible to enjoy your meal or the company at the table when one person is dominating the experience. Parents also worry about their children not getting proper nutrition to grow. Seeing a child refuse healthy food after healthy food is exhausting and demoralizing. But don't let a picky eater derail your good intentions of a family meal. Here's how to still reap the benefits of the family time together.

Your picky daughter won't instantly become a good eater. It takes time to change eating habits. So don't wait for her to improve. Simply prepare meals that have at least one food she will eat. Then serve it all up family style. Talk about anything and everything at the table but don't get sucked into a discussion about what she will and won't eat. Just ignore it all. Instead, let her know ahead of time that you don't care what she eats. It is up to her to make her choices. But then don't provide snacks or alternatives after the meal. Once dinner is over, that's it for eating.

To improve her eating habits overall, make a list of all of the foods she does like. Then find similar foods that could be eaten without her noticing the difference. For example, if she likes peaches, substitute for nectarines. Once she is on board then maybe try a plum or pluot. Whenever she balks just let it go. Don't engage in the battle of wills about eating, and eventually she will find what she likes and expand her palate.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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