Dear Family Coach: My 12-year-old son never wants to bring friends to our house. He is at a friend's house almost all the time. When I ask him to invite someone over he just says, "Nah," and makes other plans. How can we encourage him to hang out more at home? — Missing Out Dad

Dear Missing Out: This is a good time to start encouraging him to hang out at your place. Once the teen years hit you will be more in the dark about his friends and existence. The sooner you can start to get involved in his life outside of school the better you will be able to continue a close relationship with your son.

I'd start by seeing if a candid conversation might uncover the reason he is always at a friend's house. Is it because your house is boring or your snacks are lame? Or is it because you have too many rules and his friends' parents are more lax? Try to get to the bottom of the issue so you know how to address it. But it is possible he might have no answer for you, in which case you will just have to shoot from the dark.

Start by making your house fun for young people. I'm not implying you should let the kids drink and smoke in the basement because that's what might be fun for some teens. Without enabling inappropriate behavior, make your house the house to hang at. Buy gigantic beanbags and comfy couches with loads of pillows. Find a private area to carve out for the kids. Reimagine a basement or the garage as the hang out. Wire in some speakers and hook up a television and video game system. Buy a lava lamp and a mini fridge. Then stock the cabinet with snacks. Let go of the fantasy of having only healthy snacks and loosen some of the rules where appropriate. If you want the kids at your house you are going to have to give a little.

Dear Family Coach: I live with a know-it-all. Whenever I try to tell my 9-year-old anything, he replies, "I know." It is impossible to have a conversation with him or to teach him anything. How can I get him to see that, in fact, he doesn't know it all? — Not-So-Know-It-All Mom

Dear Mom: Your son doesn't know it all; the problem is that he thinks he does — or does he? It's quite possible your son acts this way because it's difficult for him to admit when he doesn't know something. Your son may feel a sense of failure or shame when being told what to do or how to do it. This most likely comes from a sense of insecurity rather than grandiosity.

Acting like a know-it-all isn't just a problem for you. It might become an issue for your son. His friends may tire of his worldliness. And worse, your son may falsely believe he knows something he doesn't. He might also become defensive and unwilling to learning new information.

Try to offer your son counterpoints in the least aggressive way possible. Don't argue with him. Instead simply offer a point of view. If he disagrees, move on. You may also help him fact-check using the internet. Then it isn't you telling him something but an outside authority. For example, if he tells you that it can't get below freezing in May in New Jersey, look it up. The National Weather Service has all sorts of charts and data to persuade him. Resist the urge to say, "See? I told you so." That will only bring his guard up further.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.