Dear Family Coach: My daughter made a lovely friend at school, but life at her house is quite different from life at ours. They have video games and televisions in their bedrooms and don't have a set bedtime. She and her brother are allowed to be on their own a lot, and they walk to the playground by themselves. We don't judge their parents' choices, but our daughter is asking for us to have some of those same rules and only wants to have sleepovers at her friend's house. She wants more freedom. How do we manage this without seeming anything less than supportive of her friend and her family? — Different Kind of Mom

Dear Mom: Of course your daughter wants to go where the kids are free to play on their PlayStations all day and night. And sure, it sounds amazing to be able to walk to the park by herself. Your daughter may not realize that there is a downside to these freedoms. Her friend's parents might not be around to make her favorite dinners or play catch at the park. Sometimes independence isn't as wonderful as it sounds.

There will be many occasions where your daughter will see a privilege elsewhere that will not tickle your fancy. But if it isn't dangerous and your daughter's friend and family are good people — just different — relax a bit. Having sugary cereal for breakfast after a sleepover won't ruin your daughter in the long-run. She may even develop an appreciation for your homemade French-toast bake, and beg her friend to stay at your place to try it. When your daughter inevitably comes home petitioning for a television in her room you can explain why that isn't OK in your home. Also, if she pleads for more freedom, give her some. Often parents forget to loosen the reigns as children get older.

Dear Family Coach: Our 8-year-old son still wets his bed at night. It has been a source of stress and disappointment for my husband and I for years. Our son wants to go to sleep-away camp, but I'm worried the other kids will make fun of him. It's even hard for us parents to deal with it. How can we either discourage him from going to camp or figure out a way to keep him dry? — Wet-The-Bed's Parents

Dear Parents: If your son's accidents disappoint and frustrate you, how do you think he feels? He is probably aware that many other children his age do not have this problem. He is likely feeling ashamed and embarrassed. He needs your support, not your disappointment.

Bed-wetting can be caused by a variety of issues, so it might be beneficial to visit a urologist, and maybe even a gastroenterologist — constipation is one common cause — to rule out a medical problem. There are also medications that might help reduce the amount of urine he produces in the night.

After visiting the doctors I would sit your son down and tell him "We will make camp work for you." As a former camp director I can tell you that many children have nighttime accidents regularly through the preteen years, so your son will not be the only one with this concern. The camp likely has strategies in place to help children manage without their bunkmates finding out. For example, if children are known to have bed-wetting issues, some camps change their bedsheets every morning while everyone is at breakfast.

In the months before camp you might also try setting alarms at night to alert your son when it is time to use the toilet. Whatever you do, don't discourage him from activities. Find a way to make them work for him. He shouldn't be left out because he has trouble controlling his bladder when he is sleeping.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.