Dear Family Coach: My 8-year-old daughter's best friend, Emily, lives next door with her grandmother (her parents are drug addicted). Emily has a genetic disorder that makes toileting and some other physical tasks difficult. My issue is that Emily is bossy and disrespectful to my whole family. Sometimes she acts out and my kids start to copy her. I've been trying to discipline Emily while at my house, but that makes me uncomfortable. Should I discuss Emily's behavior with her grandmother? — Weary Mom

Dear Weary: Sounds like Emily has been through quite a bit in her short life. Her behavior is likely the result of her experiences and possibly her disorder. What you see as bossy might be resiliency. What looks like disrespect might be a defense mechanism to help Emily persevere through hard times. Try to see her behavior in the context of her life (which might be incredibly different from yours).

It's wonderful that your daughter has such a nice relationship with Emily. Obviously her shortcomings aren't an issue for your daughter. Instead of worrying the grandmother with talk of Emily's behavior, I'd focus my energy on providing a welcoming place. Feel free to maintain the rules in your house by disciplining as appropriate, especially if your kids are copying. Tell Emily what she can and can't do in your house. If she can't abide by the rules, send her home for the day. But invite her back in again. Chances are she could use your daughter's friendship. Over time, her experiences in your home might help her overcome some of her obstacles.

Dear Family Coach: My husband almost never talks to our 6-month-old son. He takes great care of him in every other way. I have tried to tell him how important it is to talk to children and that exposure to a vast amount of words is vital for brain development. However, nothing changes. My husband is a pretty reserved guy in life, and that's usually fine. How can I help him understand the importance of speaking out loud to our son? — Talkative Mom

Dear Talkative: Sure, babies benefit greatly from exposure to words. The more a parent can talk to his child the better. But it sounds like for your husband talking doesn't come naturally. If he is a hands-on dad who changes diapers, does night feedings, prepares dinner and does his laundry, I would say you are ahead of the game. You and your husband don't each have to cover all of the parenting tasks equally. Maybe he does more of the night waking but you do more of the daytime talking.

There are still a few ways to help your son hear more words while with your husband. You might consider signing them up for a Gymboree class where an instructor does all the talking (sometimes to the detriment of the grown-ups in the room). He may enjoy heading to the library for story time. Or even encourage Dad to read aloud to your son. That could be a much easier way for him to use his voice and quite a nice time together. But whatever you do, I'd say back off a bit. I'm guessing you have enough words for both of you and your son will develop just fine.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.