Dear Family Coach: My son is in sixth grade, and has a girlfriend. Their relationship mostly consists of texts and an occasional movie date. He likes the girl, but he doesn't communicate very well over text. Recently, the girl's mother approached me asking whether I could tell her daughter that I took my son's phone away so she wouldn't be upset that he didn't text her back for a few days. She also asked me to talk to my son to encourage him to text more often. I'm at a loss. What should I do? — Stuck

Dear Stuck: I guess I shouldn't be shocked about the degree to which some parents will go to protect their children from even the slightest discomfort. Yet I am. A good barometer of a child being ready to date is whether he or she is able to handle the ups and downs of a relationship. This girl, or at least her mother, isn't ready.

Parents should not be intervening in their children's dating relationships. The most important issue isn't shielding this young girl because her boyfriend (if you can even call it that) isn't communicating enough. What's more relevant is teaching both of them what responsible and thoughtful dating looks like. Now seems like a good time to teach this girl that if a boy isn't texting you back, he probably isn't that interested in you. Tell her mother that you won't interfere. Request that she allow her daughter to speak with your son to assess whether he is still interested in dating. If she isn't receptive to helping her daughter understand dating, don't enable her inappropriate interventions.

Also, if your son can't respond to his girlfriend when she calls for him, then use it as a way to discuss how dating works. Explain what it means to be in a relationship. Discuss the responsibilities, and ask him to be kind even if he doesn't want to date anymore. Teach him how to break up, or how to devote more attention, if that's warranted.

Dear Family Coach: My older daughter, who is 16 years old, often gets a little fresh when speaking to her 8-year-old sister. My younger daughter doesn't seem to be particularly bothered by the harassment. But it bothers me. How can I correct this type of behavior? — Concerned Dad

Dear Concerned: Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. If your younger daughter is holding her own and isn't bothered by the harsh words, then let it go. It is always better for the girls to work out their differences without your intervention. Cohabitation and compromise are important benefits of having siblings. Your youngest might come across a crass co-worker someday. This experience will help her feel comfortable handling the situation.

Additionally, the quickest way to intensify sibling rivalry is for you to try to punish the older child for her behavior toward the younger child. Here's why: Children want to know they are their parents' favorite. It is a completely normal self-interest. When a parent chooses to defend one child against the other, inevitably, one feels dejected. And since that child can't take her anger out on the parent, guess who will get the brunt of the deal. That's right, the younger child. The trick is to make each child feel as if he or she is the favorite. Don't mess that up by taking action here.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.