Dear Family Coach: My 7-year-old son says some of the other kids at school are cursing or talking about sexual things that he doesn't understand. He asks me what these words mean. Should I tell him the truth or make something up? I don't want to make a fool of him, but I also don't think he is ready for all of these concepts. — Not Ready Dad

Dear Dad: I have a friend in his 40s who has told me a story from his boyhood. When he asked his father about sex, he lied and made up some ludicrous nonsense (either because he was embarrassed or caught off guard). It took my friend but a few weeks to learn Pop was offering bad information, and he never sought his guidance in such areas again. Not only did he lose faith in his father but he also repeated that nonsense response to friends, who then laughed at his ignorance.

The lesson: Lying never pays off, even when it comes to touchy subjects like sex and cursing.

Explain to your son what the curses actually mean. You don't have to be graphic; you don't have to devote hours to each word; you don't have to give true-life examples or extend beyond a base level. But tell him (you can even use a dictionary, if that's easier), and then explain the power of language. Let him know that those words carry weight and they're not to be used casually, or in public, for that matter. Make clear that you don't want to hear him curse but you welcome his questions about other words.

Trust me on this: The truth is what he needs, and it beats lying.

Dear Family Coach: My 17-year-old son has a girlfriend. She seems very nice. He's a wonderful kid, and I'm happy he's finally dating. But a few days ago, he came home with a hickey on his neck. I asked him about it, and he became very quiet and awkward. My husband says it's no big deal, but I'm embarrassed and disgusted. What should I do? — No-Necking Mom

Dear No-Neck: I don't want this to sound snide or dismissive, but if your biggest parenting problem is a hickey, you've been blessed by the gods of motherhood.

Yes, I understand why the resulting hickey may well humiliate you, especially if, say, ol' Grandma Rose and Grandpa Nat are coming over for family dinner. But here's the reality: If your son is 17 and he's dating, he's also, um, probably doing things with his girlfriend. They're likely not just holding hands or exchanging loving glances. They're experimenting physically. It's age-appropriate. No one ever got pregnant or a sexually transmitted disease from a hickey.

From my vantage point, this is an opportunity for you to sit down with your son and talk about sex. He surely knows you're aware of the hickey. How could you miss it? Instead of projecting horror or disgust, express support and understanding for his interest in physicality with his girlfriend. See whether he has any questions; emphasize the importance of treating women with respect, taking your time and practicing safe sex.

For many parents, this is one of the most daunting tasks. But it really doesn't have to be. Your son has inadvertently given you an opening. Take advantage of it.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.