Dear Family Coach: I have a 12-year-old daughter who is rapidly developing into a woman. She is uncomfortable with the attention she is getting due to her new womanly proportions. I see her covering up and wearing excessively baggy clothing. Her confidence is plummeting. How can I empower her to feel comfortable and confident in her new skin? — Puberty's Mom

Dear Mom: Puberty is a process, not an event. Her body may have developed quickly. That doesn't mean her brain, emotions and psyche have caught up. She may come to see her body differently with time, and even embrace it. It's also very possible that as other kids develop, she may become more comfortable seeing her body as the norm, not the exception.

There is nothing wrong with your daughter covering up. Her body isn't shameful. She might just find that it brings less attention when she wears certain items. Let her wear what she feels comfortable wearing without drawing attention to it. The more you push her to feel comfortable in her skin, the less likely she will. Try not to discuss her body at all. Focus instead on her abilities and strengths.

There are other ways to build your daughter's confidence in her body. Sports might help her see her body as strong and capable. You can also think outside the box with acting, modeling or even debate team. Give her space to feel comfortable being herself at home, and hopefully, that will carry over outside at some point.

Dear Family Coach: Our 18-year-old is graduating from high school on the same day my other son has his eighth-grade trip to the amusement park, which is in lieu of a graduation. We want to make the eighth-grader miss his trip to attend his brother's graduation. But we aren't sure whether that is fair. What do you think? — Graduate's Parents

Dear Parents: At first thought I immediately decided your eighth-grader should have to miss the trip. Graduations don't come very often, and high school graduation is an important milestone. It's important to teach children that family comes first. Sometimes that means missing a fun event.

But then I realized that the eighth-grader also has an important event. While it may not seem as important to you, it is to your younger son. I wouldn't make the decision for him. I would ask the boys to talk to each other about how they feel about the graduation. Let them have this talk without you present and hanging over them. Ask the eighth-grader to think about the decision for a day or so after they talk.

Once a few days have passed, ask him about his decision. If he decides to miss the graduation, tell him to find a way to honor his big brother's achievement. Missing the ceremony doesn't absolve him of showing his support. Some possible thoughts are writing a nice card, making a montage video, planning a party, painting a sign to hang over the door or buying graduation balloons. He should be creative and find something that would be meaningful between them.

It is possible that the graduate wants his little brother to be with his friends at the amusement park. If so, problem solved. It is also possible that the eighth-grader makes a decision that upsets his big brother. If so, leave that for them to settle as well.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.