Dear Family Coach: My son is 12, and he clearly has a crush on his math teacher. I've noticed little notes he's written about her. I'm worried he will say something embarrassing or cross the line in some way. How should I approach this situation? — Mom o' Loverboy

Dear Mom: I'm pretty sure this was a plotline for an episode of "The Brady Bunch" and Carol solved the problem with some fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and a backyard potato sack race. While real life isn't quite as simple, this isn't a problem to lose sleep over.

The best thing you can do is gently speak to your son in private about his feelings. Tell him you are aware of his amorous thoughts of his teacher. Let him know that it is very common for children to develop crushes on their teachers and that his feelings are normal. If, by chance, you had a crush on Mr. Smith in fifth grade, you might want to bring that up, too. Finally, explain to him that while it's normal to have feelings it would be inappropriate to act on them. He will likely be embarrassed by the entire conversation. That's OK. It's better to say what needs to be said than risk him being unclear on what is acceptable behavior between a student and teacher.

Now, some parents might be tempted to pull the teacher aside and mention what's going on. This is a terrible idea akin to selling out your child's feelings. Unless it's causing a distraction in class or somehow changing an A to a D, keep this one in the home. Again, this is not a big deal. Don't make it one.

Dear Family Coach: It was Mother's Day recently. Just like every year, my husband and kids gave me lame presents. I know I should be grateful, but I am so sick of pencils, plants and mixing bowls. Can I say something to them without sounding like a jerk? — Ungrateful

Dear Ungrateful: Before you can even consider mentioning your lame (your word) gifts, you need to figure out why you are getting them. Consider whether your family is trying hard to find good gifts but missing the mark. Finding the perfect gift doesn't necessarily come naturally to everyone. However, effort matters. If your husband and children are honestly making an effort and they think you will actually like the gifts, then I probably wouldn't say a word. Imagine you are one of your kids and you excitedly walk up to the school gift fair with $5; you cruise the aisles several times thinking about what Mom would love this year, and then you see a pencil that says "For My Special Mom." You think the pencil would be the best gift because you think your mom is the most special. Now imagine how you would feel if that person, who you thought was incredibly special, told you the gift was lame. Bad idea.

Alternatively, your family is just completely disinterested in gift giving. Maybe your husband was raised in a house where gifts weren't valued or were rarely obtained. He might not know the joy of finding the right present for the right person. Try talking to him about how you feel. Don't waste time asking for material goods on your wish list. Instead, let him know how much it would mean to you to know the family took time to be thoughtful. Don't forget to teach your children about gift giving by helping them chose presents for other family and friends. Discuss the perfect gift. Shop together. Or better yet, teach them how to make special presents. Remember, you can always buy yourself something that you want. Focus on teaching thoughtfulness, even if the end result isn't perfection.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.